calima

Only a handful of you know already that a friend of mine died very suddenly last weekend of complications due to Leukemia.

I realize that saying the word 'sudden' and 'leukemia' in the same sentence seems wrong somehow, for in my mind any sort of cancer seems to be a slow killer. Long, drawn out, and torturous.

However, this was sudden. My friend, (grrrl, for those of you who remember me talking about her in previous journal entries), was diagnosed with the disease very suddenly, and then died just as suddenly. She was ill for only about 6 months.

(I say 'only' with bitterness here, as 'only' 6 months to you and me must be a long terrible nightmare under such circumstances)

To say that we were all shocked at her death is an understatement. Not two days before, we had received an update on her condition: that she was to receive a bone marrow transplant. We were all ecstatic and hopeful for her recovery.

Everyone grieves in their own unique way, with each unique loss. Every process is different, but heals in its own method, in its own time. In saying that, I have thought of a way to help me deal with the loss of grrl in my own terms, and I feel quite sure that this is the right action to take.

I would ask that instead of sending me a Christmas card, or a care package, or any other little trinket, that you consider, instead, donating that money to a charity toward Cancer Research or Leukemia Research. I feel that the money can be put to better use there than it could in my pocket, in my house or in the amount of weight I will put on eating all that junk food.

And this year, around Christmas, after receiving no Christmas cards at all, no boxes of homemade Christmas cookies, then I can feel good that I didn't get anything. Becuase then I can hope and wonder if the money and effort was going to a cause to help find a cure for such a devastating and dreaful illness.

You don't have to tell me if you donated. You can, but you don't have to. I already feel better knowing that I have put out this plea to you for help. Help that isn't for me, but for the people out there that are waging war against an illness no one yet understands how to fight.

Thank you so much for even reading this.

Love you all

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