calima

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August 24, 2005

Justa good ole boys, never meaning no harm

My review of Dukes of Hazzard is ready.

And now...a true Dukes of Hazzard story. Gather round now...

See, when I was a child, I loved Dukes of Hazzard. My brother and I used to carelessly annoy my mother but jumping into her Trans-Am through the window, feet first, and sliding across the hood.

Even more than the show, I loved Bo Duke. Bear in mind that I was about maybe 6 or 7. I had the hugest crush on him, and I kept it a secret from everyone except for my mom. I swore her to secrecy, but she let my secret get out and then my whole family knew.

I was mortified.

Worse came to worse, one evening, my mom took me and my brother to a Monster Truck Rally or somesuch, and lo and behold, there, sitting at a little table on a stage, there was my angel, my beloved:

Bo Duke

The instant I saw him, I immediately went into a fit of blushing. Mom gave me a gentle push and nudged me toward him to say hi or get his autograph.

I stood, stunned.

There was no way I could go near him. If he saw me he'd know. He'd detect it the second he looked at my face. He'd know I was in love with him.

I pushed backward, trying to keep as far away from him as possible. Mom didn't force me to go up to him, but for the rest of the evening, she did allow us to go out of our way to walk in front of his table so I could get another look.

And that experience, right there, my friends, ruined me for the rest of my life. I never met Bo Duke, I never got over my crush. Even now, seeing John Schneider on Smallville, I get a little weak kneed.

The experience, however, did mend my star struck celebrity siting reaction. If I do happen upon meeting someone famous, I don't get all gooey, I don't scream, or cry, I just look at them and think, 'Yep, he/she's just like everyone else' and go on my merry way.

I suspect, however, that this casual cool and aloofness toward celebrity would be shaken if I were to encounter John Schneider again.

Oh well, as long as all the other famous people are safe. And what are the chances that either myself or John Schneider will ever be at a monster truck rally again?

x

Posted by calima at August 24, 2005 11:23 AM