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August 28, 2005
Defeatists
I was watching, 'You've Got Mail' tonight, though, I know what you're thinking: It's a shit film, right?
Well, I don't normally admit this, but I do like the movie, if only becuase it looks like crap on the outside, but has different layers to it, depending on what mood you're in when you watch it. (Could any Ephron film actually have layers? The question floats in the void, endlessly.)
During the movie, I noticed what I hadn't noticed before...that each of the characters at one point says, 'I could never be with anyone who...'
For instance:
'I could never be with anyone who wasn't as serious about politics as I am'
'I could never be with anyone who had a boat'
'I could never be with anyone who liked Joni Mitchell'.
Personally, I think the single population today is single for exactly this type of pickiness. I have a rl friend who is this picky about men she dates (or considers dating)(or doesn't consider dating), and I've found myself frustrated with her on a number of occasions for letting a perfectly acceptable date pass her by becuase she has some little hangup about him, which has been completely overblown.
The truth about love, which I think everyone forgets, and perhaps this is also the truth about people in general (I know it's cliche, but...): No one is perfect. And in saying that, you might not ever find the 'perfect' person for you.
Oh dry yer eye...this doesn't have to be something to feel rejected over. So, there may be no such thing as a 'perfect' mate. So what. Not every love is like the love they try to show you in movies. There's no 'perfect' couple out there. Even the couple that's most right for each other have their little imperfections.
And it's these imperfections, my friends, that make the couplehood work. Becuase, face it, if you love someone, I mean, really love them, then the little imperfections are something that you love also. Maybe you fight every single time you go to the cinema becuase you can't decide on a movie you both want to see. So...? Compromise.* Take a chance. Maybe you'll actually like the sequal to xXx. You never know.
Take these examples:
'He's going bald'
And what if you were going bald?
'She's got a sixth toe'
That could be cute with sandals.
'He snores'
And you're sure you don't?
'She spends hours getting ready'
Oh, and is that why you always feel so proud when you're seen with such a beauty?
See, folks. It's not about lowering your standards, but it's about letting exceptions sneak in there. Looking past that sixth toe, or the spots on his forehead, or whatever.
And it's not about what others think. So many people pass judgement on their friend's partners, or say about other couples, 'They're soooo not right for each other'. But in being wrong for each other, are they not right? And who are you to judge anyway?
If we could choose who we fall in love with, I believe there would be world peace. Seriously.
But you can't. If you try, you'll just make yourself lovesick, and that (second only to not being loved at all) is the worst feeling in the world.
Anyhow, that's my little hangup about what I saw in the movie tonight. I apologise if I sound condescending. You shouldn't listen to anything I say anyway, becuase I, in no way, have things perfect, or do all the right things.
Now. Off you go to watch the Bodyguard and decide for yourself if people can be 'wrong for each other'. (Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston? Really? Come on...I think they could make it. Really!)
Oh and Xinh, if you want to dream about Dennis Quaid then you go on ahead! ;)
x
*Make your partner compromise also, though, don't just take everything on your own.
Posted by calima at August 28, 2005 11:28 PM
I watched The Mexican last night. I love the line: "If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?"
"Never"
And it's so true.
How boring would life be if we all got along all the time? :b
Posted by: Luminati at August 29, 2005 12:07 AM
Exactly. That same quote has been going around in my head the past couple of days.
And yes...how boring it would be. You took the words right out of my mouth.
x
Posted by: calima at August 29, 2005 12:10 AMI was really pissed off one time by a girl at a party who was talking to my sisters because I overheard her say that she hates hairy guys, and that she could never date a guy who was hairy.
Now I apologize in advance to anyone who is a little overweight coz I'm about to use the F word, but because I'm a guy who's a little on the hairy side and I objected to someone saying that, even though they were specifically talking to me, I felt like walking up to this girl and saying I could never date a girl who's fat, and then I would have walked away, but I didn't do it. I didn't say it.
Liz said when she was growing up she thought the name John was boring, and she was like the aforementioned girl who couldn't stand hairy guys. Now she's married to a John (who's a little on the hairy side) and her son is named John.
Go figure :P
Posted by: Capn John at August 29, 2005 01:26 AMI like the movie "You've Got Mail" and didn't think it sucked at all, but then I'm a die hard romantic and love Meg Ryan in anything. While I agree nobody is perfect I think you can (and most often do) find the perfect person for you. He/she is out there, the trick is not to look to hard. *wink*
rb
P.S. Love the Bodyguard too.
Posted by: rb at August 29, 2005 04:59 AMI'm a fatty, and picky too :P I could compromise on a lot of things but theres just some i cant. being a selfish self centred ego freak who makes up crap arguments because they arent intelligent enough to really defend a point isnt going to get enough leeway to get a date! But other than that, if im attracted to someone but dislike other parts, im more willing than not to say eh, i need me a date ;)
at least i think so... then again, i could be wrong.
rambling again!
love you calima
I actually dated a rather large girl in High School. She was a beautiful girl, very friendly, a lot of fun to be with, she was just a little on the big side. About the only line I thought I'd really never cross would be to date a smoker, but I did that too in college :D
Guess I'm just a very accepting, loving person ;)
Awwww, John...there are too few guys like you out there. Lord knows we women have a lot of problems to overlook and not very many guys who will overlook them ;)
I was thinking this morning, and decided that my only exception to this 'acceptance' theory would be someone who has hurt someone else for their own gain. Like a mass murderer or a rapist.
That, I can definately say, I wouldn't make exception to.
x
Posted by: calima at August 31, 2005 12:37 PM