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April 28, 2005
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
I met the devil today.
Well, I didn't meet him, necessarily...he sat behind me on the bus.
Begin flashback:
This morning, I was definately in the mood to smoke. I thought about it all morning while I was getting ready. Then, on the way to the bus stop, I passed the corner shop where I always used to by my cigarettes. I stopped for a moment, I considered it.
Then, on the opposite corner, I saw the coffee shop.
Knowing myself the way that I do, and knowing that I need a bit of rewarding, I struck up a bargain: Instead of spending £2 per day on cigarettes, I can use that £2 per day to get a mocha in the morning.
Well, that cheered me right up! And then I was very very happy with myself for having gone since Monday (albeit not without Mr Evil around) without having a single drag.
So, I got my mocha, danced my little dance up the stairs to the top of the double-decker bus, put on some tunes and patted myself on the back for being such a good girl.
(It is here that I will point out that I am the only person that am trying, or need to, impress. I'm not really looking for a pat on the back from anyone except myself. And that's how I believe it should be for a smoker who's trying to quit. If you're not quitting for yourself, then I don't think that's really a reason, at least not a good enough one to make the quitting stick. If you quit becuase someone else asks you to, but still you want to smoke, then there's a high probability that you'll start up again...possibly during a time when you and that person get into some sort of row. It becomes a passive-agressive response. I'd just rather acknowledge that it's my choice, made for me, and by me in order to benefit me.)
Me me me...
Anyhow...so I'm on the bus, smiling slyly to myself, practically bubbling over with pride when I smell smoke.
Ooohh...it was mmmm....and I wanted to .....flick,ahhhh....
It was the Devil. He sat behind me on the bus and blew smoke at me.
But instead of getting all, 'me wannae', I decided to get annoyed. And it worked. I didn't want a cigarette, I just wanted to sip my delicious mocha in peace and not walk around campus smelling like smoke all day.
As it turns out, I am walking around campus smelling like smoke all day, thanks to Lucifer on the bus.
At any rate, I was confronted by evil today, which challenged me to make a snap decision based on what I wanted vs what I desired, and I made the right decision.
I passed the test.
And, as it's been nearly 5 days since my last drag, and I've (for the most part) stopped being snarky toward people, I would have say that I suspect that Mr Evil is in the process of leaving the building.
Goodbye, Mr Evil. Don't let the ass hit you on the door on your way out.
x
Posted by calima at 02:45 PM | Comments (3)
April 27, 2005
This one's for you...
It's Sunday night,
I am curled up in my room,
The TV light
Fills my heart like a balloon.
I hold it in as best I can,
I know I'm just another fan,
But I can't help feeling I could
love this secret agent man
And I can't wait anymore for
him to discover me,
I got it bad for David Duchovny
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?
Posted by calima at 01:34 PM | Comments (5)
You're a mean one...
Mr Evil, oh boy, did he ever rear his ugly head yesterday.
If you were one of the few people unfortunate enought to have spoken to me yesterday, I sincerely apologise. It wasn't me speaking, it was Mr Evil, who has an uncanny resemblance to the demon Linda Blair voice used in The Exorcist.
I did cheer up for a wee bit while watching CSI, which I never get to see anymore due to (stupid) work. However, this only lasted about 15 minutes until I realised that they've removed my Grissom almost completely from the show. In the 40 minutes following, I plotted my revenge upon the producers of CSI and delicately arrived at the conclusion that I can never turn my back on those CSI people ever again lest they ruin good telly forever.
It was all just as well anyway, as I had taken a break from essay writing to watch the show in the first place, having only written about 100 words (out of 2,500 needed). I then came to a CSI epiphany whereupon I realised that I'll watch CSI: LV no matter how terrible the show gets, but have no problem skipping CSI: Miami no matter how good it is, for the simple reason that Horatio is a poser.
Heh. Poser. That word takes me back to the days of the 80's when most of my friends weren't even born yet, and my brother was skateboarding.. back when skateboarding was first becoming cool to those people who were too far away from any ocean to experience surfing.
Note: Have you ever noticed that 'loser' and 'poser' are the same word with only one letter difference, yet are pronounced entirely differently?
(I hate Linguistics. That class is doing my head in.)
So, back to Mr Evil...he hasn't peeked out today yet, but I can feel him simmering slightly below the surface. Just in case, I've been keeping my distance from people.
I did a really idiot thing today...I went to get cash out of the machine and must have hit the '£80' button instead of the £10 button. I'm pretty sure I hit £10, but I got £80 back and stood for a moment feeling the weight of the bills in my hand and suddenly thought I'd hit the jackpot. Those sneaky cash machines are too smart nowadays...the withdrawal hit my total.
And so now I have to go back to the bank (the real one) and make a deposit of £70.
Yes...I withdrew £80 so I could get a £1.80 cup of coffee. I'm all about excess, baby.
Say goodbye to Mr Evil everyone!
x
Posted by calima at 11:51 AM | Comments (1)
April 26, 2005
sorry NIN fans
I'm not that much of an NIN to go stand in line on the day their single comes out...so...sorry. No one gets a single from calima.
But if you're interested in not being disappointed, I encourage you to purchase it from Amazon UK
Ta.
Posted by calima at 02:57 PM | Comments (2)
I've been a bad, bad girl
I told a lie today.
A whopper.
I have a problem with lying...first of all, I'm not very good at it (unless it's an April's Fools Joke which I've forgotten to tell you about), and 2ndly, I tend to lie and then the lie comes true in some form in order to punish me.
So, I called in sick this morning...We have to phone in before 10am if we're can't make it into work, and I looked at the clock which read 957am, and I though, 'Oh, what the hell...'
I said I had the stomach flu.
This is sooooo totally untrue...I don't even feel sick. But I bet you a mini-donut from Greggs that over the next few days I'll feel guilty about lying and will inadvertainly give myself the stomach flu.
At any rate, I'm not going in to work tonight, as I have a huge essay due and other things on my mind.
Remember when i said that my stress had disappated? Well...it's back. Things are getting worked out, but this is certainly not what I expected nor needed, as exams are coming up fast. I've spoken with my advisor today and she didn't seem worried, and in turn, I'm not worried now. Loki's not worried, Sweetheart's not worried...why do I always feel like I'm overreacting?
I feel very much at the moment to reverting to childhood and cuddling up with my favourite stuffed animal (stuffy), with a good Nancy Drew novel and cup of hot chocolate. I nearly actually brought a stuffy with me today in my bag just to know he's there for a cuddle if I need him.
In addition to all of this, I've managed to cut down my cigarette intake drastically (again) in the last 2 days. I was on 3 a day until yesterday when I had 1. Today so far I've had 0. But now that all of this stress is cropping up again, the part of my body (whereever it is) that craves these cigarettes, is speaking into the walkie-talkie, talking to my brain and saying, 'Excuse me? You expect us to go through all this and not have ONE cigarette? Are you out of your mind? Are you hallucinating!? This can't possibly work!'
And then the brain turns off the walkie-talkie, but Mr Evil's voice still echoes throughout the cranium and beyond.
But so far, managing to stave that off, though I'm in desperate need of a coffee. Even after my Irish friend and I discussed how dodgy that coffee shop is in the Union, I still want one. Wish they'd deliver. It's raining and I dont' want to go out to get one.
I am doing my essay at the moment...I've decided that I'm not going to ask for an extension due to the circumstances and pressure I am under. I've decided that it would be a form of cheating and I'm much too strong to crumple like that. I would like to say, 'Ha!' to those students who have to get an extension for measley things whilst I stand here, with backbreaking stress and still manage to get my essay in on time.
That may not actually happen if I keep writing this entry.
I stop now.
x
Posted by calima at 01:52 PM | Comments (3)
April 22, 2005
Mmmm cake
I think I need a cake. Don't really have any reason other than I just want one.
I have 5 minutes until my tutorial today and I just cannot. be. bothered.
I'm on day 2 of extreme annoyance and I know for a fact it has nothing to do with lack of nicotine. Not sure what's going on here except that I'm see-sawing between being annoyed that I'm in a poor mood and just revelling in it.
I'm going to take a chance today on something major....just going to roll the dice and see what happens. I think that's why I'm agitated. Once I get that all sorted, I'm sure I'll feel much better.
Then. I'm going to get a cheeseburger.
And fries.
Posted by calima at 11:57 AM | Comments (4)
April 21, 2005
Nobody hit yer buzzer!
I'm in a psuedo perky mood today. Not quite sure what mood I'm in...sometimes perky, sometimes blah.
I got my mark back from my dog log class (that's english language for those of you who don't know the code (which is everyone except Regan)). At any rate, I think I was unfairly graded and that my tutor is completely off her condescending wee head.
For some reason the idea of a more perfect language keeps coming up, and it's starting to annoy me. There is no perfect language, there is no perfect form of English. Just get over it already.
I had this really ignorant debate with a really ignorant guy I work with. I was appalled at...well...his ignorance. He tried to tell me that London English (specifically Cockney) is the purest form of English.
Since I am studying this phenomenon (or lack thereof) in every single class this year, I felt free to lay some smackdown and educate the man.
Unfortunately for him, he seems to be sublimely happy in his ignorance and doesn't seem to mind spouting shite like a fool, so I gave up and decided he wasn't my responsibility to teach.
I'm handing out ass-whoopings and lollipops and I'm all outta lollipops.
In other news, I bought Miles a covered catbox the other day, which will be ready to pick up tomorrow. I told Miles about it today and he looked at me, said, 'Thrilled.' and then went back to bird-watching. What a punk.
I want a cheeseburger...I've been craving one since Frodo mentioned yesterday that Princess wanted one. Now I have to have one and I'll stop at nothing until I get one. Well...I may stop at Fopp...
Oh...speaking of Fopp...if there are any NIN fans out there who would like me to pick up the limited edition UK single for them, please let me know.
Today is partly cloudy, mostly sunny, warm in the sun, cold in the shade and overall so close to springtime that I wanna kick off my shoes and Strawberry Shortcake socks and walk around in the grass.
x
Posted by calima at 03:32 PM | Comments (5)
April 18, 2005
Mmmm...keanu
Point Break was on telly last night and I was delighted. I love that movie.
I had a Keanu double-bill this weekend, as Loki and I went to see 'Constantine' for which I hope to write a review.
And I just want to be clear about one thing...you can believe me or not, it makes no difference really, but I just need to say it...When I say I like Keanu, I don't mean that I 'like-like' keanu..not like, 'LIKE', you know...just like, like a regular person.
Didja get that?
I don't like keanu in the way that I like, say, David Duchovny, or Russell Crowe. (where is he anyway?! He has a baby and now he can just disappear?!) *ahem* Anyhow...I like Keanu. He still has this little 'Tedishness' about him every now and then, but overall he's getting to be better when it comes to not choosing crap roles.
At any rate, enough about him and onto Sweetheart...who came over last night straight off the plane and gave me the cuddle I'd been longing for all weekend.
Then, he and Miles had a night-long fight over 'their' side of the bed. See...I have my side of the bed, and the rest is up to Miles and Sweetheart. But Miles is so territorial, that even though Sweetheart's taking up the entire space, Miles just lays right on top of him.
Miles got squeeshed a number of times last night for being a pest, and I have this feeling that Sweetheart didn't get much sleep what with all the pouncing and the whining being emitted from Sir Miles.
Poor Sweetheart. I think he just needs to come over more often and show Miles who's really boss.
x
Posted by calima at 11:57 AM | Comments (3)
April 17, 2005
aus freakin'
That's german for 'freakin' out'.
Apparently, anyway...
Had a rather rough night on Friday...there was some sort of fight or tussle in the close at about midnight and it completely freaked me out. I was halfway between sleep and un-sleep, so the banging and raised voices that I heard made me think that someone ws getting murdered. I called Frodo and he came over briefly to make sure everything was ok. I was shaking, having been scared out of sleep, and it took me ages to calm down again and get back to bed.
Frodo and I seem to have found a flat that we both like (read: loved), and now all we need to do is come up with (at the very least) the deposit so that no one comes along and snatches it out from under us.
New carpet. Mmmm....
I'm feeling like I'm dragging a bit today and I think that I'm coming down off of a caffeine high. I really should keep off the coffee on sundays.
Went out with Loki last night which ws good fun. I was quite tipsy and in a very good mood. In fact, Loki noted that I've been much more cheerful lately, and we decided it's becuase my stress is finally starting to dissolve a bit. It's not completely gone, but it's going, which is great.
I do feel a lot better, so that's a plus, I suppose.
I've been looking online all day for a Wallace and Gromit poster. Can't find one I like yet, and might go to one of the comic book stores after work to see if I can't scrounge one up. Don't know quite why I'd put up a poster on my wall if I plan on moving soon, but, hey, no one said that I was logical about these sorts of things.
Sweetheart comes back from his weekend furlong today and I'll be quite happy to speak to him again and tell him everything that's happened while he was away.
Made cookies the other day ( a procrastination technique to keep from doing my Eng Lit essay ) and was told that I make the best cookies ever (iiiiii know!) and that I should open a cookie shop.
Maybe I will.
x
Posted by calima at 01:40 PM | Comments (5)
April 13, 2005
I'm an AUNT!!!! (again)
My little neice, Rebecca Joanne was born yesterday, weighing 5lbs, 9.2 oz.
woo!
I was quite worried becuase my sister-in-law was having some difficulties, but it turns out it wasn't difficulties...the drs' just got her due date wrong (by a couple of months...she wasn't due until June).
Phew! It was a close call!
But yay!!!!
i am an auntie, i am an auntie!!
x
Posted by calima at 01:36 PM | Comments (8)
Right-O
I just deleted my entire journal entry becuase it was about existentialism and way too deep and I was just spouting shite (as I have a tendancy to do).
I'm enjoying the spring-ness of Glasgow at the moment, though I'm not necessarily enjoying the sudden leaps between warm and cold. It's a killer when deciding what jacket to put on in the morning.
Miles is being quite a little smart-ass lately...he's unhappy that I've gone back to Uni during the day instead of lying around playing 'kitty' with him (a game in which we lie around like cats and sleep all day in front of the telly and in the patch of sunlight). He's taken to hiding behind the laundry basket and pouncing on my feet when I'm trying to get ready.
This is either a game of 'Look at me! I'm cute! You wouldn't leave me if I were cute!' or 'If you try to leave, I'm going to bite your toe off. You decide'.
Little does he know I'll be heading to the US on holiday this summer during which time he will be spending over at Auntie Lou and Uncle Keith's.
Sucka.
I'm taking Frodo's CV into work with me today to see if I can't get him a job. The bonus is I get £200 if he stays on for 6 months, which I've already promised to split with him.
What with working at my work and getting a blog on h-c.net, eventually, Frodo is going to be an exact replica of me (male version, of course) and I figure that all I need to do is convert couple million more Calima copies and then we can take over the world.
If you'd like to be like me to, just send a SASE with your name to....
...
Ha! If you really knew me, you'd know I hate postal mail. You fail this test. Please try again later.
Alright...I've very obviously had too much coffee this morning. I shall now attempt to eat something very fattening to make up for it.
*flick* ahhhhh.....
x
Posted by calima at 12:41 PM | Comments (0)
Interesting...
| Your Inner European is Irish! |
You drink everyone under the table. |
Posted by calima at 09:59 AM | Comments (0)
April 12, 2005
Lookout!
We've a new heavenly creature in our midst! Everyone please welcome, Frodo!
x
Posted by calima at 02:39 PM | Comments (0)
Ok, now I'm back.
It's been a slightly long, but definately welcome spring holiday for me, and I cherished almost every single minute of it.
Most of it flew by, and this is mainly becuase I managed to stretch out my birthday celebrations for 4 days. I think we should do more things the way the Greeks used to do it.
The birthday went swimmingly well...I had a bunch of girlfriends over on Sunday the 3rd for a slumber party, which was basically a drink and eat festival. Lots of drink, lots of silly movies (Bring it on!), lots of food (oh, dearie me, lots). Regan, Loki and I managed to carry out the slumber part of the party for all of the next day, ordering pizza for lunch(ish) and drinking all day as well.
The night of the 4th was also equally as great, as I met up with my friends at a pub and played a hilariously funny game of 'I have never...' in which, someone says, 'I have never [insert something here]' and everyone who has done, takes a drink. Funny funny times, and I learned, if anything, that my friends are very dirty...
As part of one of my birthday resolutions (i think, actually, it's just the one resolution), I am trying to quit smoking.
This is not going so well.
My problems with it are twofold:
1. Cutting off my supply of nicotine makes me very cranky
2. Not smoking apparently opens me up for every sinus infection in the northern hemisphere.
Saturday, I was so out of sorts, I was this close to tearing off someone's limb and then beating them to death with it, when a girl I work with said, 'If you're raging, just have one. You can't just go cold turkey like that if it affects you so badly. '
My warning for everyone I know is that, though I am trying to quit, I've lessened the amount I'm smoking, but my attitude is still shit.
So, just be warned and keep all pointy objects away.
As if that isn't bad enough already, I've been dealing with a very terrible form of insomnia. It's not that I can't get to sleep at night...I can get to sleep just fine. It's just that I wake up from nightmares about 2 or 3 times per night. I wake up in the morning feeling as though I haven't rested at all, which is very frustrating. And some nights, I toss and turn for a couple of hours before I get back to sleep, only to have another nightmare and wake up.
This lack of proper sleep results in more crankiness, so in all, I'm pretty much unbearable. It's so bad that I dont' even want to be around me. But I don't have much of a choice.
The worst part about all this crankiness is that I have no conscience about it. I feel absolutely no regret about biting someone's head off. It makes me feel soooo much better.... The conflict is that I do feel guilty about not feeling guilty, so I dont' know where that leaves me...prolly somewhere near neverland....
I'm sure I'll be fine one of these days. In the meantime, I have some classes to get to, and friends to meet!
x
Posted by calima at 11:00 AM | Comments (2)
April 09, 2005
back
i'll have a real update in a bit...
but first...
this pisses me off just a little bit. Not just becuase he's been molesting wee boys but becuase this is the 3rd (or 4th?) person who's witnessed it and never said anything.
Here you are...a star witness in the 'trial of the century' and what you're really proving above all else is that you saw something horrible happen and did nothing about it.
*ruffles feathers and leaves*
Posted by calima at 09:09 AM | Comments (2)
April 02, 2005
cool
One day left! Woo!
Actually, I'm not very thrilled about aging, but the birthday spectacle should be fun, nonetheless. I've decided that from now on, I'm just going to turn 24 over and over again.
This is, however, my 2nd birthday in Glasgow, so I'm keen on celebrating...should be good times. If only I could get my hands on a blender for tomorrow night...
Played a rather mean April Fool's Joke yesterday. Played it a couple of times actually. I must admit that I had a great laugh out of it.
At work at the moment and bored out of my nut. It's gorgeous outside. Ready to go home.
Why is it that when it's nasty outside, I don't have to work. But when it's gorgeous out, I'm trapped in the office all day?
Why?! I ask you, WHY?
This is torture.
Good day.
x
Posted by calima at 02:17 PM | Comments (9)