September 09, 2004
The Great Love Swindle
(UK) Channel E4: Monday 1030pm.
Type of Show: Reality (or is it?!)
The Great Love Swindle is a reverse reverse reality show. Like Joe Millionaire before it, it has a twist. But not one twist...two twists.
The confusion will disappear quickly, trust me, friends.
The Great Love Swindle shows us four guys, who claim to have a charm that women find irresitible.
So, they claim.
They walk around like the next James Bond, the next Casanova, and God's greatest gift to women.
And women flock.
The guys, who have never met each other before this show, are so confident (read: egotistical) that when the producers of the show said to them, 'I bet you can't get a woman to fall in love with you in 5 dates' these guys all answered 'Bring it on'.
Now, I've seen She's All That and the various movies it was based on (the 80's classic, 'Can't buy me love' also vaguely qualifies), and I can tell you from movie experience that making a bet with your friends about a girl will not end up well.
It will not end up, at all. Lots of grovelling will be involved becuase no woman (and I mean it, guys) wants to be swindled.
Hell hath no fury, Gentlemen...remember that.
So, back to the show...I'm sitting, watching, thinking, 'This has got to be the most horrible show they've put on television. I can't believe the gall of these people to embarass all these poor women who are looking for true love on national television'. At this point in the program, I would have given it a 5 pitchfork rating: 
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the twist, my friends.
These girls know about the bet. They know, and their job is to make sure it doesn't happen. And the guys don't know the girls know.
Ha ha ha! The producers of the show have apparently decided that these fellas, and their overgrown egos, need a bit of a smacking down. So, while they're schmoozing and wining and dining these women in the hopes of getting a vacation to exotic South Florida, these women are there to put the monkey wrench in the plan.
Will one of the guys manage to get their girl to say those three little words? And will he then ditch her to go off on a one-man honeymoon to Miami?
Or will the girls manage to fend off the slobbering apes?
I now think this is the most brilliant show thought up. Talk about a swindle. Talk about drama! Talk about men getting beaten down for thinking they're God's Gift to women!
I also think that guys will appreciate the show as much as girls will. Why? Becuase no one wants to believe that there are actually men out there this sleazy. Oh yes, there's some guy out there reading this saying, 'I bet I could get her to say it, even if she is an actress.' and to that I say, 'Whatever dude. Learn the lesson.'
But for the most part, everyone will like the show. There aren't any dramatic votings...no one's getting kicked off. People aren't shagging each others' partners...the producers simple put a bunch of cats, and a bunch of dogs in the same room to see what would happen.
Hell hath no fury, gentlemen. Remember that.
