January 12, 2005
Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter
(Is it ironic that a movie about Jesus gets pitchforks?)
Ok, so, you guys? You know how movie critics are always saying that Plan 9 From Outer Space is, like, the Worst. Movie. Ever. ?
Well, they obviously hadn't see this movie.
Oh.
My.
God.
(no pun intended)
I can't believe that I sat through 1hr30min of this shit. I kept hoping, nay, PRAYING, that it would in some way redeem itself but it never did.
The idea is quirky and I had hoped that this would turn out campy and cheesy.
Not. Even. Close.
Quick synopsis: Apparently, Vampires are running amok around the city (of Toronto, although they never say which city), killing lesbians. The Church decides that it needs to save the women, so they send 2 priests to go get Jesus, who just happens to be at the beach, baptizing people. After hooking up with 2 sidekicks, Jesus proceeds to kick Vampire ass for the Lord.
The whole movie looks like they shot it with a hand held video camera. Most of the shots are shaky and the person working the camera had issues with zooming and focusing.
The sound was like a hand held camera as well. A good portion of the movie is out of synch with the actors' lips.
And don't even get me started on the crappy acting skills. It's like a bad high school play.
Seriously, I was in student films when I was at USC that were 100 times better than this movie.
I'm going to go take an asprin, in the hopes that this blinding pain behind my right eye will go away.
Posted by xinh at January 12, 2005 05:05 AM