Pearls of Wisdom:
-What I am actually saying is that we need to be willing to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly. - Shakti Gawain
-Listen to your intuition. It will tell you everything you need to know. - Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

Something I've been turning over in my mind of late...well, last year really. I just chose not to focus on it at that point because I wasn't sure how my shift out of my bachelor's degree was affecting things. Anyway, it was in regards to my job I had last year and what appears to be this year. I keep saying that I'm not "sold" on this job yet. And it's true. I love working with people and doing the programming. I love the prospect of getting out of the office and doing "other" things too like pulling weeds and some various maintenance stuff. I'm just not sold on where I'm working.

Like I said, I noticed this last year but I chalked it up to possibly being a part of residual anxiety from the time at OSU. If you've been following this blog for a while, you have read my ups and downs about my summer last year. You know what I mean. Anyway, these thoughts are back. I'm happy to work for these guys another year as I feel there is something I will get out of this. There is something left to learn from them, however, I don't know if there is a 3rd year for me there. That decision however has yet to be determined.

Today, as I was sitting at breakfast musing over my quarter wrap up (finals are in 1 week) and wondering when I'll hear this, that or whatever and thinking about where I'll be living and if it's really in my budget and the most interesting thought came up out of the blue, "You have surpassed them." It surprised me that my brain, or whomever that was, thinks that I'm beyond the experience they can give me and I wondered if it was true and, if so, was I willing to believe it? I still think there something else for me to learn about though from them.

As I'm thinking about this, I an beginning to pick up other things that my intuition is flagging. I'm stuck on the "something's not right" track currently. I am not sure if it's the area my projects are in, the district? I don't think it's the agency in general. It might be a trickle down effect since I've heard from numerous people that our district is "different" somehow. A combo? I feel like I might have my answer as the months go by here.

I've been working hard to listen to my gut. Sometimes I don't like what it has to say so I ignore it and I have been doing that lately. I want the "American Dream" so to speak. I want that mythical permanent job and the house where I can live with my husband, 2.5 kids and 145.7 animals. However, I also realize that just because society dictates that this is THE dream, it might not be quite right me me. My dream might be a hybrid of that. The other fight I've been having is being patient and waiting for that mythical Divine Timing. I know it's right around the corner, whatever "it" is, but I want it here. Now.

I get the feeling this is going to be a special year. It'll be interesting, challenging, trying, educational, etc but it's going to be special. I feel like I might be putting the finishing touches on the foundation of my castle. Once that solid foundation is set, things will zoom forward again at a break-neck speed, freaking me out the whole way. Oh, the growth potential....what else might I surpass along the way?

Amy