Pearls of Wisdom:
-But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for. - Paulo Coelho

A while back, on another blog, I told my readers and I promised myself that I would not do another entry till I had something pleasant and somewhat up beat to talk about. Sadly, I don't.

The past few months have been beyond challenging. I find myself withdrawn and loathe to do much beyond what I have to do to get through each day. I have gone so far as to shut out friends and family as I deal with what is before me. I have seen the writing on the wall for a while but I chose to be blithe to it. There was no way it could be that hopeless. I was just being a depressed pessimist and not trying hard enough. I wasn't doing enough to change how things were for myself.

However, the writing is still there. I can see now that it really isn't me. There's no real chance of winning this one. There is so much more for me elsewhere and I have bigger fish to fry.

What do I DO now? I am currently enjoying a brief "vacation" from the turmoil while at the State Fair handing out coloring books and teaching folks about water safety and what my agency does. I am enjoying working with people that are from different places than me and they are giving me different perspectives on the proverbial big picture that I didn't have access to before. It's only been 2 days but it's been nice and even, dare I say it, fun. I miss having fun at my job.

The question I need to answer for myself is what do I do when I get back. Do I suck it up for a few more weeks or do I accept there is nothing for me where I am and walk away. How much help or harm will a few more weeks serve me? Do I have the guts to do what I have been wanting to do for several months now or do I deal with the agony I am living in till my official time is up? I have to chose. I have decide what to DO.

"DO" is the important word right now. I'm a Libra. I analyze and analyze things to death and put off deciding. I want to make a good decision here. That's okay. Where, however, do I stop analyzing and choose and DO?

That's it for now. Time to go.

Amy