John visits on the weeknd. I think I've established that. But I no longer have weekends off. Just one weekend day. Its truly annoying. But I took this job for a few reasons. Have no doubt that I could find a desk job in the corporate world. But I have no desire to sit for eight hours a day. I can't. I feel like if I hook myself back up to a phone center life, then you might as well suck my brains out. Dramatic, yes, I know this.
But I was going for a grounding experience. Boy, is that working. You would be amazed at how people are blatantly remote. As if they think they are better than you. That is absolutley amazing to me.
So, I was talking about John visiting. It was a strange weekend. It was like I wanted him here, but that I can't help and expect for him to mess up. I know that it sounds horrible, but I've known the man since I was sixteen. You would think I would know him. And what my mind says is that " you know him, it's only a matter of time." I am not playing a game. I am really just very cautious. I don't mind having him out here. In fact I look forward to it, and I hate when he leaves. But I remind myself, "Love was never the problem. The problem was living together." He wants to go to counselling. And I'm just sitting here trying to determine what to do.
Yesterday when I came home from work, he had made dinner, set the table with candle light, and the kitchen was leaned. I mean that the dishes were not only done, but ithey were put away, and whatever he used to cook with, he loaded into the dishwasher. He watered all my flowers and went to my work, waited forty-five minutes to sit with me on a ten minute break. If any other man was doing this, I'd be frothing at the mouth. But I'm skeptical.
People seldom change. But I do believe that they can change. I changed. I have had a lot of friends that have changed. It can happen. I am just skeptical. Trying hard not to be jaded.
Anyhow, This weekend, I watched a movie that is probably in my top ten of movies now. "The Boondock Saints". When I saw the movie, I was like, " I fucking love this movie!!! Why haven't I heard about it, or seen it before?" So, if you can, rent the movie or the DVD. It's fuckin awesome. I saw it on Saturday night and I thought about the movie all day Sunday while at work. Then I came home and after my dinner, I saw the movie again.
I've also been taking Herbalife vitamins and I didn't take them yesterday. , and I couldn't believe how I was completely sucked dry of energy. I made sure to take my vitamins this morning. I was litereally exhausted anfd fell asleep during part of the movie. Susan and I are going to get into the herbalife business. I'm a skeptical person, but I find that I believe in the product and I can't wait to get set up in the business. Also, if you notice the amount of typos in this entry, it's because the stupid computer won't keep up with my fast typing and I can't see the words as they come out. Or the connection is so slow, I've got typing lag.. of some sorts.
I am completely ranom today.
At work yesterday, they put me in my favorite spot, in the back drive-thru window. Cake work. Love it.
But today, when I get home, I am going to sit down and write because I feel the muse stirring.
Love ya
x