New Leaves

do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight... wooo ... get down tonight.

I have not finished my book yet. But it has not been for lack of trying. I have done nine pages in the last few days and I am working on a chapter that I thought I'd finished, but I hadn't. Actually I think it's one of the ones that I accidentally erased. I am sure that I'll finish tonight. Allthough, the sense of satisfaction I thought I'd have, I'm not all to sure about. I am starting to have a dissatisfaction. As in, the chapters that I've created, I'm not sure they are as good as the rest of them. Gah, gotta love insecurity. Trudging onward through it.

I have been dividing my days lately between cleaning and writing and working. I woke up this morning to be completely unhappy with the amount of housework needed done, and busted a lot of it out by 1:30. I made a few phone calls with people I've not been able to get in touch with. I hope to hear from one of them later today, and I talked with my father and my aunt Sylvia for a little over an hour.

The talk with my father was somewhat distressing. It seems as though he signed the settlement papers with his (now) ex-wife, and she took him to the cleaners.

I really try not to hate people. To spend that energy on people not worth my time. But I am truly loathing that gold digging bitch for taking my father to the cleaners. I am wishing, very ver very much that she'll get what she deserves and she'll get it soon. I am further pissed off that she is smearing my father's name. She's made him out to be a monster despite the four years he's gone to counselling and the sacrifices hes made while she sat on her ass and spent their money. My father's health is failing, and I want to go to Texas and practice a little blue-grass law. He tried to convince me that he was ok. But I know better.

It was nice to talk to my Aunt Sylvia. She was like a mother to me when I was little. Made me little yellow dresses with itty bitty white polka dots, she put my hair in pig tails. And she told me what I'd been dying to hear. Ben (my cousin, my very first friend) was doing well, and he had gone to Paris with his fiancé to propose. I hadn't heard Aunt Syliva speak Ben's name in quite some time. He was somewhat of the black sheep of the family. The son that kept her from having the perfect yuppy home, perfect yuppy family. The son that was rebellious and grew his hairl long, died it all sorts of colors. (Gosh, I love him.) Now, after seven years I have hope of seeing him again. At his wedding most likely, but really, Any glimpse of him would be wonderful. Ah, but I love my Aunt. She can schmooze you up one side and down the other. She's the only one in my family that keeps me in check. "How long's it been since you've sent your father some pictures." Me: cough.... "yes, I'll be sending him some straight away." She's at my father's house helping my father get adjusted.

I made some vegetarian tortilla things today. Kick ass.

One can of black beans
One can of corn
one cup of guacamole (of course)
one cup of salsa
one avocado

mix it up reall good, let it set for a minute put it in a tortilla, wrap it like a fajita. Much better than I thought it'd be. I think it'll be even better with diced tomatoes and brown rice.

Oh, and I've been reading a little here and there a book by Anne Rice, called Belinda I didn't care much for the Beauty Trilogy. I mean they were good, just not anything that I'd rave over. I'm really enjoying reading Belinda. And now I realize just how good she is. What all the fuss is about. Anne Rice rocks.

Well, I'm off to write a bit more.

love ya
xxxxxx

Posted by hawkie at August 10, 2003 03:07 PM