Well, I got the apartment.
Big relief.
Huge-Ginormous-Friggin Relief.
It's a two bedroom town home. It is in a nice community and several ammenities. I want to jump off the walls in excitement, but I'm a little puttered-out. I have no jumping energy at this time. I don't pride myself in my crisis reaction abilities, because I almost always smack my head later and think, "I can't believe that I did that."
When I picked John up from work today, he had two coupons for free burritos from chipotle. Problem was, didn't know where they were, couldn't find them, spent time in rush hour traffic in the horrid heat losing my mind before we got directions, which were wrong directions. bleah. But at least, I got guacamole.
I am continuing trying to breath deeply. It's like carry-over tension. I still feel like I'm bracing for their rejection. When in fact, their acceptance of my application couldn't have gone better.
Who can schmooze?
Hawk can, that's who.
Now, we wait, most anxiously for the big check to come in.
I have a hippie retreat this weekend that is going to help me unwind some. Tonight, I'll be doing my laundry and packing my studio.
:(
I'm going to miss my studio.
I'm not trying to sound like I'm complaining. I am very happy, but it really stresses me that I just got paid today and am now down to 14.00 because of all this unexpected hoopla. So, my nerves are still causing me to be shaky.
Don't get me wrong. I am so very happy I got the place. It is awesome, and I hardly believe it. And, I'm very thankful that John has a job, and will be paid, and that my check is coming as well. But I'm just trying to settle everything. I want to cry, just because I'm tired and frustrated. It's hard for me to think straight.
Example: Now, I've got to call greyhound because I pressed the wrong button, and I've been given the wrong return trip. Now I am extremely feart that they are going to charge me some fee that I can't afford, to switch it.
I hate money sometimes. I really do.
I guess I shouldn't have gotten the cable hooked up, but they were already scheduled and for some reason, the figures didn't come into my head exactly how everything was going to add up. It was already a done deal when I got my check and said, uh oh.
Can I just say, yet again, this is really crappy timing?
And, I'll join Mog in the nothing-is-going-to-stay-down diet.
When I asked about signs earlier, this is what I meant:
There were several little things that I saw that made me feel that this was the right way. Familiar street names, favorite colors, reoccuring numbers, lotsa de ja vu.
But I think that the whole situation is a sign. So to speak. I know the way that I feel right now is not something I want to revisit. I was unprepared. Now, you can't be prepared for everything. But the majority of my 'oh-my-god-i-am-gonna-flip-out" situations occur from money. Money. So, I need to remedy this, when I return. Time for this hawk to build a nest egg.
So, the goal is to learn from this, and to not revisit if i can possibly prevent.
bleah.