Tonight i was all set to cook dinner, but I've discovered that my stove is not working right. There are pieces missing on them that the electic elements sit on. I am having a moderately hard time practicing miserly habits. Going to the store and getting ONLY WHAT YOU WENT FOR. It's nearly a mental episode, it is sommat reminiscent of Pipsie and Evil Pipsie when she was packing.
Hawk: Ooooh. Candlessss. Make house smell pretty... (fire! fire!)
Miserly Hawk: you don't really need that candle. Really. You've got candles at home.
Hawk: But they are in boxes precious, stupid boxes makes our head hurt trying to find candle. (couldn't resist)
Miserly Hawk: Is it on the list?
Hawk: :( No...
Miserly Hawk: Step away from the candles. What? No!! noo! Noo sniffing! Do you ENJOY torture?
Hawk: Peaches. Vanilla.... I could buy TWO of them and my house would smell sooooo prettyyyyy........
Miserly Hawk: Put the candle down, Get your fuckin mop, broom, scrubby sponges, door mat, and vacuum cleaner bags, and get the fuck out of here.
Hawk: :( Ok.
Repeat when go to grocery store.
But this is something that I MUST learn how to do. I've not been too good at it for a while and I've bought a household full of shite. My mind is boggled to think that I've thrown out half my stuff before, And I *still* have this much left.
aiiii.
No fear. It'll all get put away. Everything is copescetic. However you spell that word. I don't care. That's exactly how it is. Cool, calm.
I did something today that I don't like to do. It makes about three times this week that I've done it. Assert myself FOR myself. In other words, being blunt with rude coworker after she approaches and interrupts a conversation I was having with my manager. I'm not talking about polite interruption. I'm talking about blatant interruption. She comes back to my work area, butts in, and then looks at me and says, "Do you mind if He and I have a conversation in private." Basically asking me to leave. I was like, "I don't mind. If you go somewhere else to have it." My manager can't stand her either. He nearly choked when I said it.
Try that on for size and I liked it.
Next. Coworker talking not getting too much done. Manager says, He won't work if you keep talking to him. I know you can work and talk, but he wants to catch up with you and is falling behind... np. Dude comes back to talk to me. I tell him, "We're gonna have to catch up later. OK?" He was fine with that.
Next... And I don't think that this one is going to go over so smoothly. I've had a bit of an issue confronting someone about a money issue. I was actually willing to pay the money, even though I don't think it's the right amount. Just to avoid an argument and hope that I could still be friends with them. But I find myself saying, (to myself) 'Don't be a pussy. Don't hide your feelings. Don't pay something after you've had to go through this without at least confronting them.' So... i've sent off the e mail, and we'll see how this goes. If we can't work this out. Then the friendship must be gone already and my asserting myself wouldn't have made a difference.
I don't like trying this one on for size. I would rather avoid conflict. Even if it's not conflict yet. And that's a problem. I don't know why I've thought it bad before to assert myself. or to stand up for myself.
My back hurts a wee bit today. I'm sure that it's from where I fell. It's not serious. It doesn't ache or pain me like other things i've had go wrong. this is very much like a bruise or a strain. I am sure it will pass quickly. I just keep stretching.
I slept for ten hours yesterday evening. Verrrrrrry wonderful. I don't plan a repeat of that. I have every intention of getting up tomorrow and doing the kitchen.
love ya
xxxxxxxx