I sent a reply. I kept my calm. I have received silence. Which by the fucking way is the most annoying way to deal with a situation between adults, at least have the decency to clear the air. In this case, I'm certain that it is because someone needs drama. Someone needs a persecutor. I fill that bill. Whatever. So be it. I'm sure I'll feel more hurt about it later when the annoyance is cleared and I miss the person who is now, formerly my friend. At this point, I am going to decide that I can not control that person, or their reactions. No matter what I do. No matter what/How much I've done in the past for them, I can not make them be my friend still. Fine. Live and let die. And what's amazing is I really feel that way. I'm not just saying "fuck them, they don't know what their missing." I'm really saying, "Well, if that's how it is, then that's how it is, and I've done what I can. Ready to move on."
* * * * *
Today was a really long day. I was scheduled to work at 7-4. But I ended up working 7(ish) to 8 PM which is a 13 hour shift. Oi. My aching feet. But I wheeled and dealed when I agreed to work those extra hours. I now have Friday off, in addition to my regularly scheduled Saturday and Sunday off.
In case you missed it, that was the cue for the Hallelujah Chorus.
I can now order my rented washer and dryer units (it's cheaper than two people going to the laundry mat, and there's something to be said about convenience.) To arrive on Friday instead of having to wait until I can schedule a weekday off. They won't deliver on weekends, and they will not guarantee a time that they will deliver. So, I've got to sit and wait for them on Friday. That's cool though. That will work hand in hand with my plans to unpack and get as much done as I possibly can on this weekend. With the goal of relaxing on Sunday evening.
Have I mentioned that I love my foot massager? * Purrrrrrrr*
I did manage to get the kitchen somewhat situated. I'm very pleased that my herbs and spices managed to make it here. Even if my brand new set of measuring cups didn't. (grumble grumble) Comparatively, the herbs and spices much more valuable.
I've been reading lately a few books and tidbits here and there about organization, about relationships. About basically being your own person, and healthier thinking. I have found this information so freeing. A lot of times I think about decisions I've made and how they've landed me where I am. But now I have more hope than I've had in a long time. I actually have developed a new mantra. I used to use: "I'm not gonna bend, I'm not going to break, and I'm not going to worry about it anymore." (yes that is from a counting crowes song) but I've developed, "Today is a new day in which I can and will make better decisions." Thus affecting my tomorrows instead of just 'dealing with things as they come at me.' No adversity in that. No persecutor.
Well enough babble for tonight, I've got to be at work at 7 am tomorrow, and I'm exhausted.
love you
xxxxxxxxxxxx