New Leaves

off kilter

Today was off kilter. This happens every day that I don't pack a proper lunch. Because then I'm left with three stand by's at work side salad with either vinagrette or oriental (yum) dressing. packet of almonds. baked potato. I've taken fries off the list completely because they are fried and just as bad for me as other things I've cut out. Also, I noticed when they filtered the friers that they sometimes cook meat in it. hmf.

Well, I was a bit short tempered today. I had to keep calming myself. Despite the fact that last night I had a kick ass work out and yoga session. I could even feel it in my body enough to know that I shouldn't work out today. I am on my feet all day, so I get plenty of exercise, it's the aerobic variety that I don't get. The heart rate isn't up.

I digress.

I'd like to blame that moon. But I've been sommat annoyed at work anyways. So I've just had to try and readjust my attitude.

Day before yesterday at work, was *hilarious*

There was one point when we were talking about forbidden acts of love... that Gail decided to monologue a previous explicit memory. She grabs the frosty machine and starts shaking it, saying 'oh yes, oh damn, fuck fuck.' and she's really getting into the performance. So much so that she knocks her head on the frosty machine and promptly piled herself in the middle of the floor, while Tiffany and I had no choice but to hold on to something so that we didn't fall, while we laughed so hard we tried not to piss ourselves.

Then, there were two women who came in. They are a couple. No problem here. The only thing is, that one of them ordered a frosty (maybe the frosty machine really is evil, I'll have to let Stephen King know this). The funny thing was that they were waiting for french fries and one of them decides to open her frosty right there and start licking it. She's got that tongue all in that cup, and she's looking at Gail while doing it. She likes Gail. Gail is clueless, until she sees Tiffany and I make a bee line to the drive thru area that is out of site and again, hold our guts while we point out to Gail how she's being hit on, unawares.

Gail realizes and there's that beautiful moment of. oh......

Gail, not to be gotten the best of, goes to the drive thru, pours herself a frosty, and 'has at it'. With her tongue ring flapping all around and chocolate frosty all over her mouth, it's a beautiful sight. Tiffany and I, we are unfunctionable.

Which led her to say the follow, " I could carpet munch, but there'd have to be a penis right next to it."

(Since this all happened in the same day, you should get the idea that work wasn't busy and we were a bit bored)

And then.... you hear, "Watch what I do to Daniel"

Gail goes to the cup dispenser, places Two big cups in her shirt "Hey guys, Madonna is my cousin." and a baby one in her pants. So, she's sporting two huge cones and a bone (for lack of better phrasing) and puts on new gloves and she goes right back to her work station, in view of customers and makes about ten sandwhiches. Well, her 'bone' moved and she had to readjust. Then she follows Daniel (who is a manager) and is grinding into his hip with her 'bone'. He's like, 'whoa, wtf?' Tiffany and I, again, laughing and snorting.

Then, there's the incident of Tiffany pulling a muscle in her lower back. So I take her to the drive thru, make her bend over stand behind her and rub out the bad muscle. Up walks Josh and Larry. From their viewpoint, I've got Tiffany bent over, I'm grabbing her hip holding her still, rubbing one side of her back, she's moving around saying 'omg Linda omg Linda... oww fuck... ' I'm telling her, "shut up, deal with it, take it for a minute it'll be over with." Seriously, she's whining like a baby. Wiggling about.

The two guys were like. O_O you just know they were carrying wood.

Then, any time I bent over yesterday, Tiffany would slap my ass with her key chain strap, I would squeal in suprise, and she would announce, "Linda, I want to be a dominatrix." Somehow, there's always a manager nearby shaking their heads.

I should note that Tiffany and I are being asked to go to the next level. We are hard workers. But they are going to separate us by putting her on nights and me on days. I went back to the GM and accused him of cruel and unusual punishment.

Then, there's Kenny who thought he'd walked in on me and James doing something, when in fact, I was straddling James and cracking his back, James is moaning. I'm like ' you ready, you ready???' he's like, 'Yeah, do it again.'

Kenny is like O_O

I am sure there are more, and when they happen I think, "I should write this down." But then I get home and I'm exhausted.

btw, Freaky, I'll get you my hummus recipe.

Posted by hawkie at February 4, 2004 08:33 PM