I've been listening to the Cure, the Beastie Boys, and Hole. I have been feeling very '...' lately. Passé, I guess. That's not neccessarily good. Yet it's not bad.
Work is ok. I've barely said a sentence to the boss at work that I dislike. I almost feel badly for being so purposefully cold to him. It even took him two days to say something to me. He was thanking me for a specific job and I was just 'all business/no eye contact'. Some might think that's a game. But it's not. It's a 'I'm not going to get buddy buddy with you because you act cool, but when it comes down to it, you really aren't. Besides, you still owe me an apology, but I won't be holding my breath for it.'
I set off my fire alarms this morning. I keep forgetting to clean my stove and my burners. I set the one burner on high, and it gets so hot, that it sets off the fire alarm. I love it because it can bring water to a boil in about three minutes, but hate it for setting off my alarm. I made a pasta dish, that I don't know how to explain it. Just that it was really really good. I've been missing alfredo lately so I've been experimenting with things to get that texture. I totally mowed this plate. Good thing I only made a plate full.
Going to Dayton tonight. I've been crocheting during trips lately. I can't believe how long it's been since I've done that. I forgot just how satisfying it is for me. I usually have a bag of stuff that is as assorted as my crafting attention span, but put a crochet hook in my hand, and i'm totally zoning.
I am having one particular issue lately. (yes, only one.) I feel the need for identity. I've been looking for 'something' that I can wear that will be 'my jacket'. Something unique. Something that says hawkiestyle. I was troubled by this, and dug a little deeper into self analization and can only think that it's because I don't look like 'me'. I saw my reflection in a public place a while ago and didn't recognize which person was me. While that's not a bad thing in some categories because of the weight loss, it's kinda bad because I know that it's really that I used to identify myself by my hair. So, I'm fluttering about trying to figure out what to do.
Gah, I am never really good at transition.
On the bright side of things, I am doing laundry. Very happy about that. The pile has shrunk and I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel lazy today. There are more things to do, but I just don't feel like it. I can barely be arsed to get ready for this overnight in Dayton, possible day in Columbus/ return home again, bit. Better pick up another ball of yarn.
Posted by hawkie at April 30, 2004 01:46 PM