New Leaves

Yardwork at 2 a.m.

I got a lot done this past weekend. With the aid of Dustbuffalo, who most awesomely rocks. *bows*

Ok, the old townhome is cleaned. We did everything, yardwork at 2 a.m., and pitched so much junk it's not even funny.

Then when we got back to Columbus, I started on my room. I pitched and pitched and pitched, yet again. I want nothing left that was 'ours' and only things that I consider 'mine'.

I went non stop till about 8:30pm. Finally, it was finished. I am waiting to burn some things.. symbolic things... Something I gave/made him/ something he gave me, a handfull of pictures, and all the love letters he ever gave me.

I am not trying to say that I think that John is a bad man, and that is why I burn these things, I am doing it to cut ties. I am done, that relationship is dead, and my feelings for him wane. I will spend no blame, bitterness or resentment on him. I will simply move on with my life.

Which also leads me to say that I have had 2 journals because of him having access to this journal. I have done some thinking over wether or not I should move this journal to a place he couldn't find because I don't neccessarily want him knowing so much about my life now. I have no desire to hurt him, and I feel that it will hurt him should he read just how happy I am now own my own.
The conclusion I have come to, is that this is my journal. If he is hurt by these things, he does not have to come here. But I am not going anywhere. This is my journal.

So, lets see... what else?

Oh, Sunday we had a Mabon celebration at our house. We had 22 people here and I made homemade apple crisp, and peeled the apples with Lady on the backporch. We've been disgustingly domestic lately. Dave brought over more harvest from his farm... I talked real sweet to him on the phone and told him that I'd love him so much if he brought more sunflower seeds. He brought over 2.5 trash bags of the sunflower heads! I was ecstatic.

We've been making homemade salsa, tomato juice, and spaghetti sauce. I am getting spoiled on this homemade stuff.

So, this Mabon celebration was a potluck. My beautiful staffmaker made a hungarian dish. Himself. I was like... whoah. And since it had stuff that I couldn't have in it, and he couldn't quite figure out a vegan dish to make, he made me a vegan sandwhich with some sort of hazelnut/cocoa spread (that he buys at an arabic specialty store..) sandwhich and bought some humongous grapes. How awesome is that?

Work is odd, I like them, but they can't have overtime, so they send me home early today. The older workers are finally warming up to me. Its nice, I knew they'd love me. :P

I am getting ready to go into management, and I really can't wait for that, because I like money, and its a lot of money, nearly twice what I make now.
And I have goals and plans and such.

This weekend we are having a tattoo party and Kat and Terrylynn will be here. I can't wait. I guess not too much else is going on. Life is great.

Posted by hawkie at September 29, 2004 12:04 PM