New Leaves

inner dialogue recap (parts I and II)

Friday night was rehearsal and dinner.

I invite you to my inner dialogue during the momentous occassion.

Pull up to church, make mad dash out of VUE, in the doors in search of Susie.
Right past groom
Bitka: emmm Linda, this is John
Me: Hi John! (still running past him looking for Susie)

No Susie yet... Must crochet.

Crochet crochet crochet
Susie's here?

*pounces on Susie from the front while Liz pounces Susie from the back*

It's a Susie sandwhich!

Does the pastor have highlights? or is that natural for him?

Up the aisle down the aisle
don't trip over your dress
up the aisle down the aisle
remember to smile.
(you mean between tears right?)

*choke*

There are going to be storm troopers?
Rock on.

The music is starwars? Suhweet.

get in car go to rehearsal dinner

musthavefood

really hungry

(have I talked about Mike yet?)
mongolian bbq seems v far from church when v hungry

hmmm mongolian bbq lotsa tofu and peanut/garlic sauce

lovely presents from Susie and John

everyone done eating? i happen to be ready to par tay

go to pub

par tay

dance

violate susie while dancing

bootyshake w/ bitka

dance

be maternal with liz

dance

roll eyes at skanky faeries

dance
buy blow jobs (they are drinks you pervs) for susie, liz, and bitka
am dismayed by the fact that they use plastic cups instead of shot glasses
making it impossible to properly drink the 'blow job'

dance

get tired

drive everyone to the hotel.
(have I talked about Mike yet?)

sluggishly get ready for bed

SLEEP

ITS SEVEN THIRTY AND YOU WILL NEVER IN YOUR LIFE SLEEP IN AGAIN! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WENT TO BED AT 2:48PM.
that was the internal clock.

try to go back to sleep

GET THE FUCK UP BITCH. YOU KNOW I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO SLEEP.

damnable.

look for signs of life
everyone zonked.

I'll fix you O Internal Time affliction.
This place has a fitness center. i'm putting your ass on the treadmill
then we are gonna pump iron.

45 mins later

how do ya like me now?

FOOD

get somewhat ready... all but the dress

signs of life

people are stirring

more food!

can i have this? no. can i have this? no.

OOOH! I can have fruit loops!!!

k.

Get upstairs
Shower

Iron dresses

fight with iron

Iron dresses

fix Liz's hair

fix Bitka's hair
Holy fucking bobby pins batman. BUT IT STAYED UP AND LOOKED GREAT.

(sometimes, all i need is the air that i breathe and to love you!!! have i talked about Mike yet?)

Get Susie ready
Order Susie pizza
Get Susie ready!

Get on the dress (woohoo!)

oops it's a bit loose
yank on the top
i know! i'll just put a box of tissues in the top!

practice walking up and down steps

yank on the top
i could put my digital camera in the top.

Get Susie ready some more

Get Susie out the door!

All of us ride in really huge limo to church

wooooowwww... i'm riding in a limo

yank on top

Here is part II

yank on top, breathe in real deep and hold in your breath,
it brings 'the girls ' up and it helps keep the dress up
don't care that it makes you turn purple.

Ok Liz! You go first!

walk down aisle

for the love of jove, do not trip on your dress
grab all three layers of dress, do not trip

there's Susie! she looks beautiful!

steal a look at jon

uh oh, he's all teary eyed
i'm done for.

*sniff*

do i hear Liz sniffing?

Susie's crying too?

damn.

breathe in through your nose it keeps you from crying harder
(break in innerdialogue to say that I absolutely adored the ceremony.
It was the most beautiful and most original ceremony I have ever been
to. I loved to see the look of love and pride a father and mother have
for a daughter. I loved to see a man so free in his expression of love
for his bride that he cried openly. The selected readings were superb.
I enjoyed this wedding as I have not enjoyed any other wedding. Usually,
I am a photographer, and I see things very technically through a lens.
Or I am a family member thinking "come on, we all came for the reception"

But this was original, and sweet, and just a breath of fresh air mixed in
with the traditional things. I found it refreshing. I thought it was
wonderful that my friend Susie had love for a man who loved her in return.
It was a moving moment in time, and I was so proud to stand up there with
them and family and friends. A true privilege.)

"May the Greatest Force be with you" (That is my favorite quote
from the preacher)

Let's play get Susie in the Limo with the least amount of fuss
on her and her dress.

RUN

*looks at Susie* Is it sleeting?
It is sleeting!

Run back to church. Hair is screwed.

Bitka: Why did you come back?

(Was I supposed to just stand outside? aren't the bride and groom
usually by themselves for the limo ride?)

Me: Emm... aren't they taking the limo by themselves?
Bitka: No.
Me: Oh.

Liz and I hi tail it to the limo

Limo driver gets turned around
Guys ask for beer stop

Champagne.

Damn that tastes good.

No beer for me, thank you.

No, no more champagne for me either.
Oh, ok. one more glass.

*gulp*

What do I usually drink?

Tequila lime and sugar....
(why do you ask?)

Arrive at reception

Dude, there's bagpipes

(Liz, Susie, Bitka, and I ogle kilted man walking up the steps playing bag pipes)

I mean (Susie looks lovingly at Jon, while, Bitka, Liz, and I ogle man in kilt)

the three of us: that's hot. totally.

Pictures
Photographer to me: You're my back up photographer!

smile and let him think that.
smile and let him think that.

do not tell him that the bride will certainly tell him that I am her photographer
will always be her photographer, and that he better be able to capture her.
remember that you picked being the bridesmaid over being the photographer.
(thank you Susie)

*mutter underbreath*
I will not tell the photographer how to do his job.
I will not tell the photographer how to pose people
I will not tell the photographer that large cameras are a sign of penis envy
if you can't do it with a regular camera, chances are you need more schooling
I will not tell the photographer he needs more schooling.
I will not tell the photographer anything.
I will not let the photographer use my sandwhich line.
I will shut my mouth and smile.
I will I will.
I will.
*smiles*

Enter reception!
Sit down

Oooooh look, the champagne is directly behind Bitka, Liz and I.

Oooooh, there's a storm trooper directly behind Bitka, Liz and I.

(Here's a part where I break form and thank Susie for making sure my
name place said 'Ms' and not 'Mrs', and for seeing that there was a
vegan meal just for me. It's little things that make up big friends.)

Dancing!

Dance with Bitka... oh wait. There's a stormtrooper. I'm a bridesmaid.
They can't tell me no.

Holds out hand, nabs stormtrooper.

Score.

Bitka: Dude you left me.

Me: I'm sorry... there was a stormtrooper.....

Bitka gets nabbed by stormtrooper.

Jon puts my hand on stormtrooper's ass.

Score!

Keep hand on storm trooper's ass.
Rock on.

Later. switch storm trooper.
assume loose and lame slow dancing position.
get grabbed by storm trooper and pulled right into storm trooper
and into proper position, and actually get led.

whoa nelly.

enjoy really great dance.

stumble.

Me: Sorry, I am not the greatest at following, I am used to leading.
TK465: At least you aren't back leading.

take bad step
TK 465: That's back leading.
Me: snicker

still enjoy really great dance

bad step again.

both of us snicker.

dance is over.

Me to Bitka: Dude. That Stormtrooper can totally dance, whatever you do
you have to dance with him.

Later, she dances with him.

Bitka to me: Dude, that was awesome.

Me: squeal
Bitka: squeal

Liz: How about those badgers!?

We dance some more
We love on Bonnie
We dance some more

We realize that it's time to say goodbye.
We have our dance.

We all start getting weepy.

Bitka and I get escorted by TK 465 to the steps, and told to think naughty
thoughts (we kept asking his name and he kept saying TK 465)

We drive to Bitka's home
Bitka checks her messages

Bitka: aww! Mike called my phone to wish you a Happy Sweetest Day!

Me: AWW! You have to rewind it. I must hear it with my own ears!

listens.
*melt*

have i talked about Mike yet? let's talk about Mike!
blah blah blah, Mike is so great
blah blah blah, such a good man
blah blah blah, treats me so well
blah blah blah, pays attention to me.
blah blah blah, am stupid for him.

We arrive at Bitka's, Liz gets ready.
Bitka: Dude, we made great time.

cough85cough

We drive Liz to bus station, still in our dresses.

Jiminey its fuckin cold out.

wtf.brrr.

We pet Liz give her hugs and love and depart.

Go home.

get out of dress

get into PJs

zonk.

here's the part where i get turned around for an hour and a half, (went the wrong way
on the highway, and then run out of gas. i was waiting to hit 75 and then get
food and gas, and smooth sailing. but noooo. this car is empty before it gets to 'E')

damnable.

put my boquet in water in the cup holder, (it was like having you guys still with me.)

drive drive drive

get home.

tell Lady just like a little kid, sounding just like 'this one time at...'

i'm sure all she heard was:
Michigander
Princess Leia (m sure i spelled that wrong)
Storm trooper
starwars music
dance
violate
dance
pub
hotel
fitness center
limo
church
wedding
starwars music
storm trooper
dancing
look at my flowers!

The end!
Yay!

Posted by hawkie at October 19, 2004 10:28 PM