I've not been real journal-ey lately. I fell like I just have the same thing happening.
Get up
Eat a protein shake
Go to work
Work
Come home
quilt or crochet
Go to bed
Sometimes work out, but my hips have been popping in and out of socket this past week and I think it's because I've been sitting with one foot tucked under me while I crochet a whole lot.
The kitties have been their wonderful selves.
Usually, my lovely staffmaker visits on Sunday evenings, but he could not yesterday. I kinda figured out that he wouldn't be able to because he is in the process of moving, and then he'll have to move again.
I am annoyed at being disappointed for him not being able to be there. He already does so much for me.
I have had both interviews for management. Hopefully, I'll start training on Monday December 13. This is good because I need the extra money that I'll be making an hour, and it will give me a shift in my focus. I need something to concentrate on while I finish this divorce paperwork and wait for things to smooth out with the staffmaker.
I've been having dreams about John's family. I realized that I finally somewhat miss him/them. This makes me feel better because before I couldn't care less if I ever saw him again. Now don't worry, I have no intention of going back, and I certainly have no intention of contacting him for friendship, but in my mind
missing him/them=having emotion
is better than
not missing him/them=being numb
I'd like to blame Aunt Flo for my recent 'cry at the drop of a hat' episodes, but I think I'm just coming back to feeling.
Pretty soon, I'll start feeling invinceable again. Just wait.
Posted by hawkie at December 6, 2004 06:01 PM
It's perfectly natural to have those feelings about John's family. When you and a partner split, you not only have to say goodbye to each other, but also the families that have been involved.
In most cases (in my experience) the breakup just doesn't allow you any time to resolve things with them before the breakup is final.
You can either relish or detest these dreams. Sometimes they make me sad.
x
My guess is that the crying is a necessary part of grieving your loss. In my experience, divorce can be a more difficult loss to deal with than the death of a loved one. The latter is a less complicated form of grief, I think.
Love you and send you long-distance hugs
xo
Pat