New Leaves

wherewithall

I've been struggling lately in effort to adapt to work. I've been rethinking the career move. I don't know how other people do it, but I am not physically cut out for this. In effor to adapt to work, I've been cutting out some personal things... I don't work out like I used to, I haven't taken any real time for myself, and it shows. I'm ragged. I look like a wrung out dish towel.

Dusty and I had Chipotle on Saturday, and I believe that I had to apologize to her for being a little spaced out. Last Thursday night was the worst night ever at work. It involved a hyperactive 17 year old who acts like a toddler... (mommy mommy mommy mommy!!!! now now now) a gun, 2 calls to the police, 1 irate father ( of the 17 year old) reducing me to tears and the 17 year old leaving at midnight, and therefor screwing all the closers, and myself. I didn't get out of work until almost 4 am. Crying intermittently, of course, does not help. We are supposed to be done by 2 a.m.

I was so ill from the confrontation ( I abhor yelling and confrontation) that I was naseaus and shaking, and I woke up the next morning still shaking. I went back to work, still shaking, and Sometime later that night, I stopped. But I was so exhausted from the ordeal that I slept all the hours that I wasn't at work, and wasn't getting ready/ going to work.

Nightmares abound. But that's par for the course for my overactive imagination.

Anyhow, getting back to the beginning, and the statement I was trying to make was: This isn't worth salary. I thought that it would be. But it's not. A person should never alter their life so completely around their job. You should never sacrifice your physical health to do a job. I have learned a lot from this job. I don't get walked on like I used to, and I am much more assertive.

Mike's Grandmother passed yesterday morning. We haven't been able to see each other much lately. It seems like whenever we try to get together, things happen that we just can't help or work around. I am beginning to wish that I hadn't asked to postpone moving in, as I really needed his support this past week, and I would have liked to be a comfort to him right now.

I began moving some things into my storage unit. I have just over 2 months to pick out a house full of stuffs for Mike and I. I am yard sale-ing it. I have to get:

for the kids:
1 twin bed (for B) I already have a bed for M, 2 dressers, 2 shelves

for our room:

really, we just need a king sized bed.

in general:

table and chairs
glass cookware

book shelves. Lots of bookshelves.

I am suprised by how small that list is. Before I thought it was so much larger.
Weird. I am sure that I can find more to buy....

Oh, and I need to get some stuff for Crystal. I wish she'd have that baby already.