New Leaves

Over

I wish I had something profound to say about the event of my divorce. I received papers stating that the final decree was 8/8/05. I opened them up about 1.5 hours before I had to be at work, yesterday. At first I read through the papers expecting the summons and waiting for the fury I was sure to have. But it sizzled out and took something with it and I found the need to sit down, not knowing how to punctuate the moment. Tears or cheers?

The night wore on, and I am finally accepting it. The end result is neither tears or cheers.. just sighs. Relief mingles with grief and produces long sighs.

Thank God, the nightmare is truly over.

It turns out, only one person had to send in the petition to proceed without a trial. I guess I owe him an apology, for contacting him, Not anything that I said. Because I don't regret it.

That being said, I am going to change my last name. As stated before, only one person in the family wants anything to do with me, so why would I want to remain attatched to them in name? It's a thought that I've chewed over and over. The name is poetic, in a sense, and no one forgets it. I thought it to be the perfect pen name, artist's name, etc. My maiden name is hardly something that is musical to the ears, and much grief from childhood comes from the distortion of the name. What if it changes again? I don't want to keep changing my business cards and important papers.

So it boiled down to 2 things:

1) If my art is crap, no great name is going to get it anywheres.
2) If my art is good, then my name is irrelavent.

I could write another parpagraph letting you know just how my brain ticks as I disected the above quandry, but it is likely to bore you to tears. I'll just conclude that I've decided to use my first and middle name which flow together nicely enough. In the end, that's mine, and is always mine.