New Leaves

Not too long ago, I was stressed and wondering when I'd catch a break. Sometimes it just feels like you throw yourself into things only to find that your efforts seem to be futile. Everything feels like it caves in around you, and you find yourself crying at anything. You just get so tired of fighting every little thing.

It seems that I have been given a break.

I have a manager training class this week for three days. That's three days that I can sit (aka rest my poor feet) relax and actually get some training. I'd say 75 percent of the training is worthwhile, so far. Then, I work Thursday, 4pm to close. Then I depart for Virgina on Friday morning. I will spend my second week of vacation in the Blue Ridge mountains, on the Appaloosa Ranch with my father. Later on in the week, we will be joined with my sister, Tara (who lives in CA) and my brother, Brian (who lives in TN).

My father asked me what I wanted to do for the week that I am to visit, and I said, "I just want to go to the ranc h as much as possible. We don't even have to ride. I'd like to help. But mostly, I just want to be there.

I just talked to my father who told me that everything is set. I'll be riding everyday, and I get to help. I'm getting a pair of cowboy boots, and a hat to help me adjust. And I have just found out what my 'duty' is for the week that I am down there. I get to groom the babies. One week of brushing and loving on baby horses. I could cry. They say that the baby horses need as much human interaction as possible, and that they need to get used to the idea of someone grooming them. It makes them better companion horses.

I get an honest to goodness lesson, so maybe I can learn a few things.

To sum it all up, I only work 1 shift in my store over a period of 14 days. I get to ride horses, and I get to pet and groom and coddle the babies. Not to mention spend time with my family.

Also, I was going through my closet last night and I found a couple things that I thought were lost.

My camera that Janet gave me
The stuffed animal that Janet gave me when I had lost all of my childhood possessions thanks to my mother's ex boyfriend. (he kicked my mother and I out, and sold them in a yardsale... the money was believed intented towards purchasing cocaine. Sounds traumatic, but I actually feel worse for my mother. She lost a very large box of photographs.)

The stuffed, cartoonesque cat brought immediate tears to my eyes. I just sat there with it and held it.

Also, when I return from my trip, it will be time to actively look for apartments in Dayton. Wow. Huge step coming up.

Posted by hawkie at August 23, 2005 08:37 PM