New Leaves

I've been off line for nearly 2 weeks. Just some stuff around here that had to be taken care of. Things are fine, and I'm still moving on.

I got to take M's b-day cupcakes to her last night, and I was tickled to see both of the kids and to visit for a minute. I had to fight some of the lies... meaning things that K has heard about me through Mike. It was just further proof that he never really, truly, saw me.... or knew me. I fought for a response that wasn't re-actionary, and defensive... but understanding and loving. I still love him. No matter what. I'm just not going to be with him. That's fine.

I've been doing a ton of soul searching for the last 5 months. Something about the breakup kept bothering me and I couldn't figure out what it was. I have come to the conclusion that he believed the worse in me was bigger than the best in me. The belief that "She wanted nothing to do with B until I told her it was over." Is a lie, and I've fought it and tried to look at it from his perspective.

When he told me, I did spend more time with B. But it's because I knew my time was short. Prior to things ending, I spent plenty of time with B, but Mike was sleeping. So, I don't think he ever saw it.

There's been great healing going on too. The last time I actually saw Mike to get the last of my stuff, it was not strained and it was actually a relief.

My dad sent me my Christmas present early, and I nearly bawled. He got me a 4 GB Ipod Nano. Every since mine was stolen, it's been sorely missed.

That's about all I have time to update about... it'll take me forever to catch up on blogs and e mail.