The girls were punks, but we miss them anyways.
I started working this past week to make a bit of extra scratch to
help us move. I think I am going to try and work for a while at least
until we move. I like being at home, I hate the financial pressure.
Michael will be going to school in the fall of next year if we have
anything to do with it. He is going to get a Phd in Communications.
If we are fortunate enough, I will be going to college next fall as well.
I'm going to major in Psychology. I don't really know what avenue I
am going to pursue in it. I like the idea of counselor, or child therapist,
or art therapy, or something a little more than a traditional Fruedian
approach of the listening cure. I like School counselor too.
We'll cross the bridge when we get to it. I keep saying that I want to
go back to school, and something keeps happening that I don't go. I
believe that it's something deep in me that wants to go back. Maybe
I need the validation of a degree. But it appears as something I wish
for. It's also comforting to have a degree, I believe. Right now. I have
no skill set and the one job that I did get is just like all the others: A
factory that doesn't care about me. In fact, they are using me. They
are a huge corporation and instead of hiring people directly on, they
get temps and avoid the trouble of having benefits and such. If you
are injured, there's another one, just like you to take your place without
so much as a bother to them.
The job isn't bad. It's just boring as hell. No one talks, and there's no
music, and sometimes there's no work so you have to "look busy". Which
means that I have swept and dusted at least 20 hours this week.
Oh well. I'm getting paid, and it's going to help us catch up from this
crap year we've been having.
If you wondering what else might have set me up for last entry. I had a
friend plan to have a yardsale with me. We planned it for a month. I turned away camping (which I love) because of the yard sale. I called them twice
on the week before the yard sale to confirm. One of the calls was the day before the yard sale... everything was still going to happen.
They didn't show. Not only did they not show, they forwarded my message to voice mail when I called at 9 a.m. (Our agreed starting time) and has never called or emailed me back. Totally lame, and it's not ok. I don't care what kind of history we have, nothing short of showing up unannounced on my doorstep and groveling for an apology in which you admit all the reasons that was really lame is going to be acceptable. Or a hospital coma.
It really hurt my feelings at first. But I have the feeling that this friend was trying to nicely let the relationship fall by the way side because she has dropped other friends of mine, and doesn't want to run into them anymore. She fell out of friendship with a close friend of mine, and for the last 8 months I've been rotating between them: Don't invite her to this function if the other one is going, don't invite her if the other might even show up, and I told her that I wasn't going to tip toe around their disagreement anymore.
The drama is so thick with this situation, I just refuse to get back into it. And I'm not going to make anymore drama with it either. I'm not going to call her and cry about how lame she is for doing that. I'm not going to tell her that she's a petty bitch for letting one argument ruin TWO friendships. Mind you, It's a huge argument. But she's done worse and I've forgiven her. She's done worse that she doesn't even know that I know about like fucking my ex husband when we were still married, when she KNEW it was not cool.
I have to say it feels a lot better to be so free. No more of this shit.
So let it be written, So let it be done.