Migraines are lame. I don't know if any of you suffer from them regularly, but I do. They start with my head feeling too heavy for my neck and then pain takes about 2 hours to crawl from my second vertebra to the top of my skull and sits on my lotus chakra. Apparently, my higher self doesn't want to go back to work either.
Yesterday, I had a migraine. Buffalo taunted me for the second day in a row and I succumbed to her dangling guacamole in front of me. I could have rolled over, sat up, and fetched if she liked.
The pesky thing about migraines is that mine get so intense that my speech starts to slur and I notice that I sorta drag my left foot. Not noticeably or anything, but I sorta almost trip over my left foot because I don't lift it high enough for a step. I'm socializer extraordinaire, no migraine can keep me from talking and trying to socialize.... until I realize that I sound like I'm drugged and I can't form full sentences and people start looking at me funny.
That's when I get the net to shut my lip.
About 3 weeks ago I had a dream. It's the first time I remember dreaming about myself in such a way that I was different. I looked different, I acted different, but I was me.
About the same time I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, and I know it wasn't a spirit or an imagining. I felt like it was a future version of myself.
About three days ago, I woke up and I just felt different. Like something that had bothered me for a long time had just left me. I am not sure what it is, but good riddance.
I often looked at people that could just walk away from people, places, relationships as apathetic and unable to have compassion. But I have found (or life has clobbered me with) the lesson that compassion and help are asked for and I do not give them about to the winds anymore. I thought it would be an empty existence with selfishness preventing anyone with this mindset to have real relationships.
My friend that stood me up has called me and left me a voice mail apologizing and she wants to talk. I keep thinking about if I really want to talk to her or not. I don't think I do. It's a bit like breaking up over the phone, a voice mail isn't quite enough to peak my interest. Try harder.
My family gets the same treatment. I call them, and they don't call back. I told them the days of me doing all the relationship work are over.
The art of detachment is very interesting.
I had a heated religious conversation with someone at work. I know better and I should have just said, "I don't talk about religion at work." This guy is a hard core Bible thumping, tongue speaking kind of guy. It of course turned from a conversation to preaching. I told him as such, and he said, "Do you know the difference between preaching and teaching?" I told him, "What makes you think I want to be taught? I know your Bible better than you."
I look at him half of the time like he's talking about the tooth fairy some of the things he is saying.
He's convinced I'm hell bent, and I'm convinced he's a hypocrite... before religion entered the conversation he made a lot of heavy innuendo comments that I just ignored (sexual harassment is alive and well) was completely coming on to me and I did my favorite thing, start every sentence with "My husband... blah blah blah." And he takes 45 minute breaks that are supposed to be 15 minute breaks, and he takes a hour lunch when it's supposed to be 30 minutes.
But, I'm the one that needs "saving".
Anyhow I warned him that his breaks were being monitored. He was not phased. Let's see how phased he is when the supervisor mysteriously catches him.
Scruffy ran away for ten days (again) and is covered in fleas. So all three cats are about to be treated to a bath. I wish I had a three compartment sink for bathing cats. Wash (they supply the agitation), Rinse (Repeated cruelty with a cup), Dip (stinky flea killer)
After that I get to vacuum.
Woo!
Posted by hawkie at June 20, 2008 09:33 AM