John visits on the weeknd. I think I've established that. But I no longer have weekends off. Just one weekend day. Its truly annoying. But I took this job for a few reasons. Have no doubt that I could find a desk job in the corporate world. But I have no desire to sit for eight hours a day. I can't. I feel like if I hook myself back up to a phone center life, then you might as well suck my brains out. Dramatic, yes, I know this.
But I was going for a grounding experience. Boy, is that working. You would be amazed at how people are blatantly remote. As if they think they are better than you. That is absolutley amazing to me.
So, I was talking about John visiting. It was a strange weekend. It was like I wanted him here, but that I can't help and expect for him to mess up. I know that it sounds horrible, but I've known the man since I was sixteen. You would think I would know him. And what my mind says is that " you know him, it's only a matter of time." I am not playing a game. I am really just very cautious. I don't mind having him out here. In fact I look forward to it, and I hate when he leaves. But I remind myself, "Love was never the problem. The problem was living together." He wants to go to counselling. And I'm just sitting here trying to determine what to do.
Yesterday when I came home from work, he had made dinner, set the table with candle light, and the kitchen was leaned. I mean that the dishes were not only done, but ithey were put away, and whatever he used to cook with, he loaded into the dishwasher. He watered all my flowers and went to my work, waited forty-five minutes to sit with me on a ten minute break. If any other man was doing this, I'd be frothing at the mouth. But I'm skeptical.
People seldom change. But I do believe that they can change. I changed. I have had a lot of friends that have changed. It can happen. I am just skeptical. Trying hard not to be jaded.
Anyhow, This weekend, I watched a movie that is probably in my top ten of movies now. "The Boondock Saints". When I saw the movie, I was like, " I fucking love this movie!!! Why haven't I heard about it, or seen it before?" So, if you can, rent the movie or the DVD. It's fuckin awesome. I saw it on Saturday night and I thought about the movie all day Sunday while at work. Then I came home and after my dinner, I saw the movie again.
I've also been taking Herbalife vitamins and I didn't take them yesterday. , and I couldn't believe how I was completely sucked dry of energy. I made sure to take my vitamins this morning. I was litereally exhausted anfd fell asleep during part of the movie. Susan and I are going to get into the herbalife business. I'm a skeptical person, but I find that I believe in the product and I can't wait to get set up in the business. Also, if you notice the amount of typos in this entry, it's because the stupid computer won't keep up with my fast typing and I can't see the words as they come out. Or the connection is so slow, I've got typing lag.. of some sorts.
I am completely ranom today.
At work yesterday, they put me in my favorite spot, in the back drive-thru window. Cake work. Love it.
But today, when I get home, I am going to sit down and write because I feel the muse stirring.
Love ya
x
So, another eventful day today. Note the sarcasm. Have you ever worked with a tale-spinner? I try very hard to not judge anyone. I've got some pretty incredible stories that I think people might doubt if they don't know me. But really.... I mostly keep my stories to myself now because I don't feel like explaining myself. And I really keep my stories to myself at my work. Because if I get asked something... he's always got a 'bigger, better' story. Some days I think my tongue will bleed from biting it. I only want to say two words... just two little words.
'As if'
What is the harm in saying them?
For a small moment I wished my Michiganders were with me today. Because Mr Tall Tale Teller, decided that he was going to say, "I think Lord of the Rings 1&2 were goofy." I smiled to myself remembering the Weezer concert when someone dared to speak ill of THE movie. ( A moment of reverie, if you please..) So, I just looked at him and said, "I don't expect that you would like such a deep movie based on a literary icon."
Silence.
And then I figured out something. Big words and knowlege seems to stump a lot of the people that I work with. If you use them they even feel threatedned. Now I don't mean everyone, because I have a few people that I work with that are great.
One of the funnier things that happened today was hilarious. One of my co-workers has a hickey on his neck. When confronted, he says it's because of a "golf ball". Riiiiiight.
When they clean the floors in the kitchen they use a wet vac with a squeegie, it's a duty that we call "sucking". As you can guess from the technical description of the job, that whomever "sucks" each day is known as "The Sucker" of the day, and you can bet there's a ton of inuendo flying around. With a bunch of comments like:
Hey man, you suck really good.
God, you really suck.
Ok, line up everyone, **** has started sucking.
I'm first..
etc etc etc.
You would think that it would get old. But it doesn't.
And I'm beginning to think that I am taking french fries too seriously. I yelled at someone for messing up my french fry mojo set up at my station today.
And I really dislike judgemental people. People who think that they are better than you. I just want to tell these people, "Hello Asshole, it's usually what you do outside of your job, that matters."
The day started out all fucked up because I thought I was scheduled from 11-4. But in reality, I was supposed to be there at 7 am.
My bad.
Today they had WEBN on the PA system while we worked. Lovely day filled with the immature radio station that likes to see how many times it can say "pecker", "penis", "tallywhacker", and be all-together discriminating towards the female sex.
Fuckers. What really sucks is that station is the only station in my area that plays the hard rock music that I like. I like all kinds of music, but I prefer a metal alternative. Most of the time.
God, I'm so bitchy in this entry. I'm really not in a foul mood. I must be getting ready to start or something.
Missing Persons that I miss
I miss all my friends, and I know that since I've moved it's been terrible to try and keep up with everyone. I've had a few curveballs that I've been trying to deal with. But I'm starting to adjust to life here. It doesn't mean that I don't think of you.
Dove?
Liz?
...
That would be the song of the day to get stuck in your head.
You are welcome.
It was good enough for my head, it'll be good enough for yours.
Actually, they were playing music today at work (thank you thank you thank you thank you) and they played it about ten times in an hour. So, naturally, everyone was singing that song. And it just went in rounds. But either way, you can't get the fucking thing out of your head.
So, we have a funny story to tell you.
Saturday night, John's visiting, and we've just returned from the movies. We saw The Matrix Reloaded. Rock on. Well.... I'm supposed to get a massage. But I think that it was about to be postponed so that we could... talk. Yes. That's it. We needed to have a 'lengthy discussion.' So, the house settles down, everyone's in their respective beds and the dog decides that she's going to sleep in my room. It is cooler, after all. Well, I wouldn't mind except it's a real mood killer when she's panting like she's trying to aid a fire. No pun intended. So, I will try to recreate the scene a bit:
Me: Gabby, calm down. Please. Or go drink some water.
Susan (from other room) Gabby, come here...
Me: Yeah, Gabby, go to Susan's room.
Dog: (Yeah right, I'm a black dog. I weigh a hundred + pounds, I am not going into her room.)
Me: (frustrated) Gabby, go to Susan's room... Pleeezz.
(The dog does not move. Susan then comes up to my doorway, John was sitting on the edge of the bed, buck nekkid... *quickly* adjust the sheets. At this point I start laughing because this is funny.)
Susan: Gabby, come on... come to my room puppy...
Gabby: (Riiiight. Fuck that tosh. I know where it's cooler. I am not moving.)
Me: Sheesh, just let her be. (try to ignore her and get back to my 'discussion'.)
Meanwhile, Susan realizes that Gabby got into the fudge. John left the fudge on the floor. Doggie ate the fudge. Again, our 'discussion' is interrupted as Susan asks me where the hydrogen peroxide is...
Susan: Where's the hydrogen peroxide?
Me: huh?
Susan: I have to make her vomit.
Me: Shit... I don't know... I don't use it....
(but it does happen to be in my cabinet... woops.. John, at this point feels like total shit because the dog ate the fudge, so he goes downstairs to see if he can help Susan make the dog barf... apologize, and feel bad about chocolate poisoning the dog... eventually John returns. But you can bet at this point, I am in no mood for discussion until I know for certain that everyone is down for the night.
half an hour later... the dog barfs, comes inside and returns to the foot of my bed, and procedes to pant for the rest of the night.
Lemme tell ya, I was -so- turned on.
Anyhow...
Not much else going on here.
I was going to journal about the dragon fly that I saved from certain death at work today, but I see that Pipsie beat me to it, with her millipede saving ways.
Would I save a jumping spider? *shudder* No, but I'd have one of my people do it.
Ok, enough rambling.
love you all
xxx
Happy Birthday Sean
Love ya!
xoxoxo
I woke up this morning to the realization that the universe must be playing "Aggravation" with my Monday. Manna let me know that it was the full moon by barfing on my bed. Not kidding. She does that every full moon. Hemlock decided that I needed to get up, so he stood on my bladder. The dog ate my 12 grain bread. The whole fucking loaf. I tried to log on, it took 20 minutes, then I tried to journal, I lost the entry. I tried to do laundry but the stupid fabric softener dispenser got clogged so I had to take that upstairs and clean it. Then I discovered that all my white towels are now a lovely shade of mint green... don't ask. Then I tried to get back on line and the computer froze.
I get online again, and hear this crazed rumbling coming from the basement. It's the washer machine. By the amount of racket that it's making, I'm wondering if the stupid machine has been posessed by 'The Mangler'. It's off center on the spin cycle. So I have to go down three flights of stairs before it breaks the washer machine.
It's only 1:30 pm.
And the radio was playing utter shite. Complete utter shite. And I began to think, "I think I understand why Elvis shot the TV."
And now I get to the really annoying part. I am trying to (again) stop drinking diet coke. Soda. Caffiene. I realized that I am actually quite addicted. So for the past three days I've been quite irritable.
On the plus side, I got to talk to both Pipsie and Legend on the phone today.
Eventually I'll be able to catch up with everyone. I think I'v finally getting out of my anti social phase.
Doesn't mean I won't bite though.
Ok, I've got to take the clothes out of the mangler and put them into the driver, then feed the mangler again.
x
Pathetic plea for messages, but I'm not the first to do it :P
Another reason for changing the blog was because I missed getting messages.
So, today is Friday the 13th... doesn't phase me a bit anymore. But my brother. My poor younger brother, the day is a plague to him.
But it's an anniversary of sorts, Six months ago, I was sitting in a pub in Glasgow with Pipsie, and Stewart and Dave, and Sean, and Sally, and Gareth. And we were all having a marvelous time. It was also a Friday the 13th.
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So today I am home sick. I am currently detoxing my body and I am sick as a dog. It's the type of tummy ailment that can't seem to make up it's mind in which way it wants to attack you... So I stay home, and I clean. I do laundry and I clean some more. After cleaning is over. I make sundresses.
Which reminds me....
I am selling sundresses if anyone wants me to make them one. They are my design. I also make them by hand. It's a couple designs I've toyed with for a year or two now. I am working on getting pictures of them online. I've already got three orders for them and I just started them last week. So, I need to get busy on that. So, 10.00 plus shipping. Just leave me a comment and an e mail addy and i'll get back with you.
Also, I am working on getting my website updated for my photography too. That way I can get my wedding photography business advertisement up. And then I wait. I hope and I wait. Because I'm seriously not cut out for 9-5. I want to write, draw, dance, breathe deeply after it rains, to spend a day at the park reading a book, to sit in my back yard with my the scent of the flowers, and not go back inside until night fall, I want to drive across country and visit people. I want to hop in my car and show up on your doorstep and ask you if you feel like going out to a movie. I want to cuddle with the cats, the dog, a book, some paint (Viggo) a film. Whatever there is out there that makes me feel alive... I want to do it. It's not riches I want. I want thefreedom.
And, I want to enjoy the eccentricity of my muse. The muse sometimes needs to be tamed. Forcing creativity in one channel is difficult. It can be done. Surely. I could have finished my book right now. But If I did, the two chapters that I needed to write would be shit. Complete and utter shite. Because I wasn't in the mood to write. The key is, to keep coming back to it. If you are writing for the joy of writing. Then write. Write from your heart, whatever it translates to. Whatever it is that you can put into. A lot of times, something that looks like five different stories actually get blended together and you get a rainbow instead of the color blue.
Just needed to say that.
So, this city, this town, this place that I live in. It's so odd. It's extraordinarily odd. But I absolutely love that. I love this place because it's old. Even though it's not as old as a European city, like Glasgow.... which has buildings older than our country... ;). (One of the first things Stewart said when we were ooohing and ahhhing.)
Anyways... I technically live across the river from Cincinnati. The first people settled in this area in 1788. It's a city that is designed around the natural landscape. Not like Columbus, (and so many other cities that I've been to.) where the landscape was ploughed and flattened and carved, and paved over and a concrete-steel helotism dominated the area.
The greater Cincinnati area is quite large. However, I live in a little town, that feels like the turn the 20th century. Most of the houses here were built around that time. Including our house. Which is made of red brick and has an L-shaped front porch. Our house has a twin. An exact twin, right next door to it. Because the houses were designed by a father for his two twin daughters. It's brick all the way through. Even the walls. With plaster over it. I look out my back window and I can see the hills that become mountains the further south you travel.
The people here pull over to the side of the road and stop when a funeral passes on the other side. And on the nightly news, the big story was about four steer that jumped their fence and were running free near the neighborhood. They actually had a LIVE coverage of it. And the reporter actually said, "That's 500 lbs of angry heifer." And I thought that was hilarious.
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At work, Well, it's work. It's hard work. I bust my ass all day and get home and want to flop on the bed. I actually had to take a nap yesterday. My feet hurt so badly. My wrists hurt from the carpal tunnel. I was nearly crying. But I need to build up my tolerance again for physical endurance if I want to do the triathalon next June.
One really great thing about my job is that I am getting to speak Spanish again. After 14 years of not speaking it, it's slowly coming back to me. I think I'm going to try and brush it up a little. But it's really funny because I am still trying to learn French too, so I'm mixing them up a little bit.
For instance, when I try to say "yes," I usually say oui. Which is French. But if you are speaking to a person who doesn't know me and only knows Spanish, they don't understand. So I usually end up saying, " Oui,..... shit... I mean, yes... I mean... shit, I mean. Si..... dammit."
It's funnier in person.
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Ok, funny things about me.
1) My favorite saying is "I can make that..."
2)My 2nd favorite saying is, "I am fuckin' brilliant." Which is my way of saying, "I have an idea."
3)I like to look up words in the dictionary because I almost always stumble across a new word while I'm looking for the word that I can't spell. And I like new words. Like, today when I was looking up the correct spelling of 'heifer', I came across 'helotism'.
Very cool.
Yes, I've moved my blog. It's better this way, not to mention prettier. Thanks to the lovely Pipsie, I've a better blog. And I'll get to have more fun networking on line w/ Legend, Lava, and Pipsie, because we have a our very own 'dot com' which is http://www.heavenly-creatures.net
I'm still crappy on the html. But I'm working on it.
Now I'm working on getting my butt to the store so I can buy some avocados and make some guacamole. Because you can never have enough guacamole.
I'm starved.