Oh, how we carry on.
Work called. I was bored. I went in. Besides, Daniel sounded horrible and I wanted to 'scratch his back' since he 'scratched mine'. By moving me around, I am quite a happy employee. I have been making sandwhiches on the front station, and I have to say that I like it very much.
Tiffany and I carry on horribly at work. If you've followed along, then you should know this. Today, I worked with Larry and Tiffany, and I loved it. It was a great day. A little stressful here and there, but that's to be expected.
I treated Daniel to the 'Wifulio' my rendition of 'Cornhulio' where i take my baggy ass pants, pull them up over my boobs and continue to make an ass out of myself by dancing around exaggeratingly.
Daniel couldn't think straight. It was hilarious.
Today, Tiffany and I 'put on a show' for the young impressionable one who works the back window at night. He couldn't keep a straight face. Then Tiffany and I drove off and flashed each other driving out of the parking lot.
Not much going on this weekend. I was going to get a digital camera this weekend, but it doesn't come into the store until monday. so alas. i must wait.
John's in Dayton this weekend. Which is cool by me. I like my alone time. Gotta appease the sewing muse.
My desk has a little cubby hole instead of a drawer. This is where all the string resembling things go in my house when Hemlock brings them to me. Because, I shouldn't be on the computer, I should be playing with him and his string. He's absolutely obsessed. If he sees string, his whole expression changes. I can't explain it. It's like immediate hypnosis. Well, I am cutting patterns and there was a long scrap piece of material, and I let him play with it. Now... he thinks any scrap of this material will turn into string, and he will be played with if he brings it to me.
I haven't been all that bloggy lately because I've been out walking and busting my behind in an effort to um.. bust my behind. So, until I adjust, I'm all out of whack. Also, I'm trying to figure out how to eat. Strange thing it is to have to work out harder to lose weight, and find out that part of an active metabolism is that you get hungrier. I mean, it makes sense if you drive your car further, you use more gas. But I don't think I should fuel my tank on french fries. Which seems to be what I am craving lately. Which, I am going to cut beack because I've finally experienced a negative side effect of salty french fries. It's called bloating. I could not believe how horrible I felt this morning. oy.
Feeling a wee bit better. I think I'll give my feet one more day to deal with these blisters before I start tackling the walking again. I'll wake up early again tomorrow just to make sure.
Thrilling. My life.
Calima often says that to me. I imagine the 'Get it through your head,' part And she says the 'One day at a time,' part. Though, I don't doubt she thinks it, or blame her if she does. So, tonight, when I want to bake bread, make homemade tortillas, chili for john, make muffins, go grocery shopping, do laundry, and map out the year financially. Oh, let's not forget the read a chapter in Screenwriting for Dummies, and write in my screenplay.
I want to do it all. I want it all done yesterday. Now, I'm not complaining. I know it's the combination of the waxing sun, the waxing moon, and the wonderful weather we've been experiencing lately that has me ready to kung fu any obstacle. But really; I only stress myself when I take on so much. So, I have to sit my ass down and say, 'Ass, how could you do this better? Still get everything done and not feel like a slave?' And ass replies to me, 'person who calls me ass. please stop calling me ass, and remember to take one day at a time.'
You'd think I'd get the net by now. :P
I should probably check to see if the moon is waxing before I claim it's affecting me. I can't be bothered. I saw Diana's bow, and I believe it was the right side. I get that backwards sometimes.
Anyhow. I want to shoot John for the sounds coming from his computer that are making it impossible to think, much less type. Damn sound clips from video games.
I still have yoga left to do tonight.
so, gotta make this quick.
xxx
White wisps skid sweetly into aqua. The horizon drinks the brilliant colours leaving a crystaline indigo bowl of a night. She starts again. She stopped only for the love of the golden hues cast from a fleeing sun. Mid-stride she was eyes-to-the-sky until absorbing the scene overwhelmed all auxiliary functions. People find her strange. She finds people apathetic.
If I could see my ass. It would be black and blue. Yesterday at work somehow became 'smack ass day' in the drive thru. It made for a lot of giggling, lack of professionalism and stinging hands and behinds. I wonder what people think sometimes when they drive past the window and see the absolute depravity.
I was told every time that I say 'fuck' i have to put a quarter in the linda jar.
not amused.
About a month ago, Tiffany asks me to be her maid of honor. (Insert major yaying) Tiffany is preggers and I am hoping she has a girl. She already has two boys. She wants another boy. Her fiance is not keen on going to appointments with her, so, I'm going with her. We are quite excited to hear the baby's heartbeat on Tuesday.
Not too much going on right now. Just the usual. If you haven't noticed, I've felt a bit like writing creatively in my journal. Thx to Dusty and Mogs for noticin'.
I'm off to finish cutting patterns and such.
xxx
4:45a.m., I stumble into the bathroom contemplating snooze and decide against it. I still have my head against the wall. Sleep taunts me. I know it will be cold this morning. I layer my clothing appropriately. I set the alarm for John and grab the timer before entering the cold. I love walking at five a.m. If I wasn't awake before I opened the door. I am awake when I close it. I attempt to take a deep breath. My lungs recoil upon encountering the assault of crisp morning air. I can not seem to draw the long breath I desire.
I begin to walk anyways. In the mornings, everyone is asleep. I feel less conspicuous about working out. The dark makes me uneasy, but I walk with purpose and not with fright. I will not call a negative situation to me. I begin jogging. I love jogging. I jog intermittently. I am not yet able to jog for a very long time. I will jog for a bit. Then taper to a brisk walk. I jog until I am out of breath. I feel like a fish in muddy water forcing the thick, cold, air through my lungs. When my lungs have taken their fill, I begin jogging again. It is a wonderful torture. I have not been able to jog or run since high school. I look forward to the evening of heartbeat and breath to only take off jogging again. Smiling.
Baking is fun. Baking is wonderful. I feel domestic and fulfilled when I mix things and feed them to my oven. I usually bake on the wax of the moon, but I was not so lucky. I was preparing the kitchen by cleaning and disinfecting it before I start using the counters actively for food stuffs.
I rinsed the dishes, and picked a loose hair off my arm. I make a mental note to myself to put my hair up before the actual baking. I stacked the dishwasher miserly. Fit as many dishes as possible, conserve water, conserve the softness of my hands.
I begin to wash the counter of the stove, removing the burners and the crumb catchers so that I may do a proper job of cleaning the stove. I feel a tickle on my arm. Another loose hair. I pick it off and make a note to sweep the floor of any more of my hairs which have decided to divorce me.
I wash the measuring utensils by hand. I could put them in the dishwasher, but I like the feel of my spoons and cups in my hand. To an extent, I like to wash dishes. I can escape and almost find zen.
Tickle tickle. What could that be? Another loose hair. Curse this PCOS. It's been like this for years. Cutting it all off last year helped for a little while. Soon as my hair gets the slightest length, It falls out. In clumps in the shower and when I brush my hair. But mostly in this annoying little fashion that must tickle me to remind me that my hair is indeed falling out.
Enough. Accept that you will never have long and thick hair again. Accept that you may very well be one of those women who bald with PCOS. It's just hair. The only person identifying me as my hair is me. That last vanity.
"Fuck this, it's only hair." I say, and march upstairs to the bathroom. I wet down my hair and bend it over the tub brushing it out straight. I am going to cut my hair off. Where are the scissors? Under the sink, where they belong. I grab them, make a final brushing through my hair and hold them in my hand ready to snip away.
I stop short. "You are too upset to do this. Take yourself right now to a professional. Get a real cut."
So I did. Goodbye long hair. I will court you no more.
Tonight I got to see Greg Morris in his "The Greg Morris Group" Phase. Which means that instead of a single djembe drummer, and a bassist accompanying him, he had a drummer, a bassist and a saxaphone. They were excellent. Even John agreed it's the best they've sounded. They sound complete, bluesey, wonderful.
At the end of the night, they still hadn't played my song yet... (It's about the demands of having a muse, and perceptions people have about how to encourage a muse etc etc.) So, he asked for requests, and I got my song.
Not to mention that I had not one, but two great conversations with him. Rock on. I even worked the photography angle, I just might be doing the band photo.
I forgot to mention that it was at Bullfishes. An openly proffessed lesbian bar. The reason that this bears mentioning is that we hadn't been to this side of town, much less this bar before. We didn't know the crowd, we didn't know the neighborhood.
Well, my beautiful blonde haired blue eyed husband got a really big smile from a lady and he tells me about it, and since I'd had a tequila lime and sugar, it was supposed to be a single shot, but it was a triple, anyhow, i blurted out i think some of them might like cock once in a while.
I am writing this and I feel like the Seinfeld episode, 'Not that there's anything wrong with that'. Because for some reason, I gues I am culturally deficient and I need to state that I don't care if someone is gay and that I thought it was nice to see people in love. period.
A line from the first act that i really liked:
It took a long time to become what I am to you. And you aren't going to tear it all down.
And a line from a new song from the group that i was totally diggin:
I'm gonna slide into your cockpit and i hope the captain don't mind
hubba hubba
I returned to the evil place that is walmart. They anticipated my arrival. They tried to lure me by placing the baby product trial size accessories on sale. There is no depth in which they will not descend in their attempts to part me with my precious dollars. I remained steadfast. I came for the material, thread, measuring tape. Left with material, thread, measuring tape. It is of no consequence that they didn't have diet cherry coke. That has nothing to do with me leaving with exactly what I came in for.
I have been looking forward to breaking out the sewing machine for quite some time. I have to make a practice run (always make a practice of a first pattern attempt) and then it will be on to using wonderful stuff. I love the texture of the stuff I have found. It was worth the wait.
Tonight, John and I are going to see Greg Morris perform in a bar near us. The bliss that awaits me, I can hardly contain myself!
I woke up at 6 with him, and then I went back to bed, woke up at ten. Weird weird dreams about being a maternity doctor, and a baby being born feet first that didn't want me to give it a bath, and I'm trying to reason with this 2 minute old baby that it's 'all messy, and it needs a bath.'
See what I mean by weird?
so, last night i was doodling w/ kim in the yahoo chat.
about ten kinds of perverse. she walked away to go move her car. When she came back there were two stick figures on her screen. one was a devil with a boner, the other was a person bent over spelling 'R-U-N?' ha ha ha. yes, I know the joke comes from third grade, but I've been laughing at that joke for 23 years.
I just wish I could have seen her face when she came back. At one point, John looks at my screen and decides he's going to message Kim and ask her 'wtf?'
---------------
There's a guy at work who is a dream. He was being interviewed about two months ago, and Gail and I are shout/whispering to Daniel "HIRE HIM hes fucking gorgeous!"
So we aren't exactly.... inconspicuous.
Whenever you ask him for help, he always replies, "There's nothing that I would love to do more." He has great delivery, a sincerity with a touch of "Are you incompetent?" Which has led me to not ask much for help because being short, I need a lot of it. Now, I'll just get the step stool and the ladder. Yet, I still have people coming around the corner, see me up to my neck in tall people stuff, and cluck their tongues while they help me out of a dire predicament. Today, I tried to bring down the whole top shelf on my head. All I did was grab on thing, and everything fell, and I'm holding up things yelling "help!!!"
Which prompted me to say, "I just grabbed one, and they all started coming." Story of my life.
He wears a pendant of the virgin Mary, even though he's not catholic, and carries a picture of his ex girlfriend with a lucky penny in his wallet. She left him because he couldn't treat her like shit. He knows Barry White and Marvin Gaye songs. and wears blue jeans, bright white t-shirts, and a leather jacket with assorted chains.
All the young boys....
sigh...
------------------------------
The muse is around. She wants to write and listen to the Cure. I get somewhat overwhelmed because there is so much that I want to do, that I wonder if I'll have enough time to do it, and I don't mean time management. I mean lifetime. Is a lifetime spent devoted to your craft(s) ever enough?
----------------
I was being trained in a new position today. crazy craziness. sheesh.
------------
Laundry and cat stuff tonight, must go
x
I give this recipe a rating of four avocados, out of a possible five.
I decided to bake my veggies instead of stir fry them. Why? I dunno, laziness partly, but also because I don't like adding vegetables at different times and I am not always getting the heat or consistency I like.
Here's the recipe:
1 sliced white onion
1 sliced green pepper
8 oz of mushrooms
2 cloves of garlic minced
1/4 cup of shiraz red wine
1/4 cup soy wasabe sauce
Place all ingredients into a bag, making sure it is sealed. Shake vigorously.
Let set for half an hour.
Turn oven on to 300. (Do not preheat)
Put the mixture into a loaf pan.
Pour 1/4 cup of water into the bag and shake to get any remaining pieces or sauce sticking to the inside.
Bake for twenty minutes to thirty minutes, or until you like the consistency.
Yummy
Outline
A few things that I thought I should add in one entry. Those things that you forget about when you sit down in front of your blank journalling screen, prompting you to forget the brilliance that you were sure you would impart, and say, "Now what was it that I was going to write?" So here is a (hopefully) better update as to what's really going down in Hawktown.
David Bowie
I've been listening to him, pining for him, putting the songs on replay, analyzing the words, his inflections, and noticing that the instant I hear him start singing, I always close my eyes. I close my eyes because I don't want any other sensory input than that silky, gentle, sometimes desperate, carress of his voice in my ears. Somewhere inside me, there's a young girl who wants to put up David Bowie posters all over my room.
ch-ch-ch-changes
See how I flow from one thing to the other? >:)
This change would be work. Work has asked Tiffany and I if we want to go into management. I am not sure about management, but the pay is very attractive. So are the benefits. And until that book starts selling, and I get motivated enough to actaully get my business off the ground, I like Wendy's and this opportunity has some promise. I'll be switching to the schedule that I want. Three days off a week. Four days, Ten hours a day. Night shift, mostly.
We are going to night shift together. (Tiffany and I) There is a little spy work going on that Tiffany and I are to perform. People are stealing. People are slacking. A lot of high school kids like to play around and no one has been around to guide them into the proper ideals of what working is about. (Being on time, in proper uniform, no swearing or shouting on line/in sight of customers) They've hired a whole new night shift, but they've no one to train them to make sure that they do the right thing and not cut corners, and become a sucky night/ closing crew.
They had asked Tiffany and I separately if we would go to night shift. No interest. Then they asked us to become management. We'll think about it. Tiffany and I came up with the idea of going together through the steps. Basically, we know we can rely on each other. We aren't going to night shift to purposefully be mean to everyone, but that is just how they are going to view it. So, Tiffany and I devised a plan to double team the GM (General Manager) on our day off so that we could talk to him about our plan to do this together.
Yesterday we show up after rush and tell him that we want to talk to him. He has a deer in the headlights look. We are 'trouble' and 'more trouble'.
So, we expect him to have a problem as we lay down our indecent proposal. We had a lot of demands that we expected were going to meet some interference. We were braced to fight for each one of our demands. He had no problem with it. In fact, he's sitting there getting giddy, I swear he's sporting a stiffy if I didn't know any better. It took half the time we expected and Tiffany and I are just sitting there like, "That went better than I thought."
I even asked him what were some things that we could work on to help us get through. To my suprise. I have nothing to work on. I am perfect. I'm thinking ????? I expected in the least boywonder to say that I was insubordinate.
Nope. Apparently the managers don't mind that I ride their assess. I despise a lazy manager.
Tiffany and I have three weeks that we are going to push to get certified. When you get certified, you make almost a dollar more an hour. I will take that.
Thankyouverymuch.
Visit
Today, my friend Trish is coming from Columbus and we will be going around town today looking at all the wee shops in the Mainstrasse. It's a little historic area that has a lot of little shops. I am looking forward to that. Then we will go dancing. Yay! so, I've really got to hurry and get my housework done as I want to be able to enjoy her visit and avoid the crowds at the grocery.
Oh Gregory Alexander Morris
Yes, I love this man. He doesn't have quite the effect on my that David Bowie does. But, I love his music anyways. I have a lot of respect for self taught musicians. He's playing on Friday the 13th, and I believe John and I are going to go for Valentines day. Yippeee.
Howard Shore Concert
I don't know why I keep forgetting to mention this, but I am so excited!!! Howard Shore is coming to Columbus to conduct the Columbus Symphony at the Ohio Theatre. What's even better? The concert is on my birthday. What's even better? Dusty is taking me as a birthday present and she and I are going to go to the theatre in style. How often do you get an excuse to dress up for a fancy shindig?
Oh, I haven't a thing to wear.
*holds head*
Progress
So, the book is done. I have sewing projects to do next, but I'm waiting for the material that I ordered to come in. Until the material comes in, I'm sorta sitting here with a muse poking me in the side. The snow is melting here. Finally. Only to freeze into slick ice at night. But I find that I like the look of drab trees on yellow grass with clumps of white snow still clinging. Something Sleepy-Hollow-October-Romantic about it.
I'm a strange one.
Hummus Recipe
For you freaky
This works best if you have a food processor or a stick blender. If you don't, you can use a mixer to blend things together.
4 tbsp Tahini (You can find it at the healthfood stores usually)
1 tbsp lightly ground sesame seeds (I do this in a coffee grinder)
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tsp of ground cumin
1 tbsp olive oil
1 can of chick peas (unless you have time to cook them yourself)
Drain the chick peas. Rinse. Put them in a large mixing bowl.
Add the ground sesame, ground cumin, 3 cloves of garlic, and olive oil into a bowl. Mix until fully blended.
Add to the chick peas. Use a rubber spatula to scrape everything out.
Blend them. Blend them, and then blend some more. Until it's creamed. You may want to add a little more olive oil if the mixture is too thick.
If you have a little more time, bake the minced garlic in the olive oil for 35 minutes on 350, then add together. This makes it sweet instead of spicy, so you may want to add a clove of raw garlic too.
There are a lot of variations of this, experiment until you find the recipe you like best. I like my hummus on tortillas with slices of avocado, a little salsa on the side.
Language Sensitive
I read something the other day that made sense. I love to read. Yet, there are these authors who everyone thinks is great, and I read the books and I'm holding my head. Too much wordage. Too much flowery wordage, I lose the story. I never knew that there was a term for that. "Language Sensitive Reader." When I write, I try to write simply with a dash of alliteration and pinch of flowery. You learn something new every day.
Dummies need love too
Since I seem to have problems on the nights that I don't do yoga, winding down and going to sleep, I am going to start taking a book to bed with me. I've learned in yoga that being in a laying position helps prepare the mind and body for sleep. I know that sounds simple, but it's sorta complex too. I find when I lay down and read before I go to bed it's much easier on me than saying, 'ok it's ten i need to get to bed' or going full tilt until I crash into bed. I sleep less hours too.
The book of choice at the moment is Screenwriting for Dummies. I guess I'm a dummy, because I love this book. If that doesn't do the trick, The Third Edition of the Bedford Handbook For Writers, should. I yawned just thinking about it.
A little brushing up is a good thing. Especially since I need a lot of brushing up.
Off to clean
You never realize how much a place changes you. How much an event, a year, a series of events will affect you for the rest of your life. Or how much you care about people that you had not met before then. You never realize until you sit on the wan of the full moon and feel just like her. Whole, but with a bit of sliver missing.
Today was off kilter. This happens every day that I don't pack a proper lunch. Because then I'm left with three stand by's at work side salad with either vinagrette or oriental (yum) dressing. packet of almonds. baked potato. I've taken fries off the list completely because they are fried and just as bad for me as other things I've cut out. Also, I noticed when they filtered the friers that they sometimes cook meat in it. hmf.
Well, I was a bit short tempered today. I had to keep calming myself. Despite the fact that last night I had a kick ass work out and yoga session. I could even feel it in my body enough to know that I shouldn't work out today. I am on my feet all day, so I get plenty of exercise, it's the aerobic variety that I don't get. The heart rate isn't up.
I digress.
I'd like to blame that moon. But I've been sommat annoyed at work anyways. So I've just had to try and readjust my attitude.
Day before yesterday at work, was *hilarious*
There was one point when we were talking about forbidden acts of love... that Gail decided to monologue a previous explicit memory. She grabs the frosty machine and starts shaking it, saying 'oh yes, oh damn, fuck fuck.' and she's really getting into the performance. So much so that she knocks her head on the frosty machine and promptly piled herself in the middle of the floor, while Tiffany and I had no choice but to hold on to something so that we didn't fall, while we laughed so hard we tried not to piss ourselves.
Then, there were two women who came in. They are a couple. No problem here. The only thing is, that one of them ordered a frosty (maybe the frosty machine really is evil, I'll have to let Stephen King know this). The funny thing was that they were waiting for french fries and one of them decides to open her frosty right there and start licking it. She's got that tongue all in that cup, and she's looking at Gail while doing it. She likes Gail. Gail is clueless, until she sees Tiffany and I make a bee line to the drive thru area that is out of site and again, hold our guts while we point out to Gail how she's being hit on, unawares.
Gail realizes and there's that beautiful moment of. oh......
Gail, not to be gotten the best of, goes to the drive thru, pours herself a frosty, and 'has at it'. With her tongue ring flapping all around and chocolate frosty all over her mouth, it's a beautiful sight. Tiffany and I, we are unfunctionable.
Which led her to say the follow, " I could carpet munch, but there'd have to be a penis right next to it."
(Since this all happened in the same day, you should get the idea that work wasn't busy and we were a bit bored)
And then.... you hear, "Watch what I do to Daniel"
Gail goes to the cup dispenser, places Two big cups in her shirt "Hey guys, Madonna is my cousin." and a baby one in her pants. So, she's sporting two huge cones and a bone (for lack of better phrasing) and puts on new gloves and she goes right back to her work station, in view of customers and makes about ten sandwhiches. Well, her 'bone' moved and she had to readjust. Then she follows Daniel (who is a manager) and is grinding into his hip with her 'bone'. He's like, 'whoa, wtf?' Tiffany and I, again, laughing and snorting.
Then, there's the incident of Tiffany pulling a muscle in her lower back. So I take her to the drive thru, make her bend over stand behind her and rub out the bad muscle. Up walks Josh and Larry. From their viewpoint, I've got Tiffany bent over, I'm grabbing her hip holding her still, rubbing one side of her back, she's moving around saying 'omg Linda omg Linda... oww fuck... ' I'm telling her, "shut up, deal with it, take it for a minute it'll be over with." Seriously, she's whining like a baby. Wiggling about.
The two guys were like. O_O you just know they were carrying wood.
Then, any time I bent over yesterday, Tiffany would slap my ass with her key chain strap, I would squeal in suprise, and she would announce, "Linda, I want to be a dominatrix." Somehow, there's always a manager nearby shaking their heads.
I should note that Tiffany and I are being asked to go to the next level. We are hard workers. But they are going to separate us by putting her on nights and me on days. I went back to the GM and accused him of cruel and unusual punishment.
Then, there's Kenny who thought he'd walked in on me and James doing something, when in fact, I was straddling James and cracking his back, James is moaning. I'm like ' you ready, you ready???' he's like, 'Yeah, do it again.'
Kenny is like O_O
I am sure there are more, and when they happen I think, "I should write this down." But then I get home and I'm exhausted.
btw, Freaky, I'll get you my hummus recipe.
I tried to journal yesterday and was three quarters of the way through a lengthy entry, when I saw an msn article that interested me. So I clicked on it. Instead of openning a new window, it used the page that I was blog updating and since I was multitasking, I did not notice it. I read the article and I closed out the window, only to scream... 'Fucking msn'.
I am trying to work on my posture. It's very bad. Especailly when I sit at the computer. So, I am trying to keep a concious effort, until it becomes habit to sit up straight. Slumping, I now find, unattractive to myself.
I partially sold my soul. I contributed to the monster that is big business, not once, not twice, but thrice, by the time that this is over. I went into Walmart Friday, bought some chocolate chips that are vegan. Sams choice chocolate chips are vegan. They don't have a clue. Or, if they do, they don't care. The lady asked me why I was buying 8 bags. I said, "So that I don't have to keep coming back in here."
After all, you never buy what you came for, and only what you came for, and leave that place. I bought some bottles for my kitchen so that I could organize my oils, vinegars, sauces, tahini, and salt. They all now come out of a very nifty organized mustard or ketchup colored container. I'll have red and yellow in my kitchen if it means that it's organized. I also bought a wee wire wisk (say that real fast) so that I could mix small stuff.
Then I went back there yesterday in search of cloth. I found the perfect cloth, but had to order more since I need twice as much as they had. It will be in on February 11th. So I'll have to return.
I raised a shelf so that the bottom shelf could fit taller things. Now, my counters are not so cluttered. I think that I'm getting spring cleaning fever early. I think it's because I saw the seed packets for sale. I am very excited about my garden this year. It's going to be lovely. I hope.
Today is SuperBowl Sunday, and I find that I am completely uninterested in going to any store today.