Get your own pair and be cool like Liz and I.
so.
Not too much going on. trying to get eveyrthing under control financially and get this management thing going despite the potential for moving within the year to Dayton. Which isn't all that far away, and I'll still be at Lady's all the time. We'll see. don't want to jump the gun.
woke up with a sinus annoyance. will annihilate it tomorrow with mass quantities of garlic and vitamins.
then go party fri and sat
sun, perhaps a wee visit with my lovely, but i don't know if that's a real possiblity or not.
must sleep
love yas
me
I was spoiled this weekend.
After recovering from the brain fog of working on campus on Saturday, I woke up Sunday, to eat, take a hot shower, hook up the heating pad, and sleep for 3-1/2 hours. Woot woot.
I needed the nap because Sundays evenings/Nights(mwahahah) are my time with my staffmaker. My boss at work didn't give me any problems about changing my availibility on Monday mornings. I just can't keep coming in after barely any sleep. (He works 3 shift so that's why his visits are at odd hours, not to mention any other reasons that may cross your mind)
Anyhow. Le Magnificent Buffalo of zee Dust brought me Chipotle, we sat and crocheted while I cursed over sugar cookies, and waited for Mike's arrival. She had a grand time joining in the chorus of lady and Cyndi as they all 3 teased me
for nearly jumping out of my chair and running out of the door as I finally saw
his car park. Yeah, It's like that.
So, he bought Audra a bottle of mead because we lost a bet. Gave her a 2nd bottle of mead, and Gave me the last bottle of mead. Wonderful stuff, imported from Ireland.
He brought me a burts bees set that has little yellow footies, foot cream, and hand cream, and a bar of french goats milk soap. See? Spoilt.
I seem to have something on my neck that a washcloth, toothpaste, cold spoon, make up... won't take care of, so I had to wear a turtleneck to work.
And I arrived (late) at work and Dusty was there! Unfortunately, I did not get to visit because I had to rush my goodbye with Mike and get my ass to work.
Then, get teased all day.
Halloween party this Friday and Saturday.
Lots of dancing.
Rock on.
Unfortunately, when I got home, there was a message on the answering machine from John. He wanted to talk.
Fuck.
So, I called him, he wasn't there. I called back. He says all the same stuff i've heard before, and this time I'm worried because I don't think he sounds mentally stable. After everythign that I've told him... He still thinks that there's a chance for him and I. I had to be completely blunt and tell him EXACTLY how happy I am WITHOUT him and WITH someone absolutely wonderful.
The thing that hurt worst was talking to Jenny and missing Jenny, and saying hi to anyone that answered the phone and not being able to be real friendly with them.
Reminds me of an Incas song:
"Nothing's gonna take this love from me, not fear, not pride, not jealousy. Nothing's gonna take this love from me, nuh uh."
Allright, gotta get ready for work.
tonight I must do laundry and finish off my management requirements.
love yall
xx
i mean to.
This week has been pretty interesting.
Sunday, My lovely staffmaker came over and we *really* enjoyed our time together.
Make of that, what you will.
Anyhow, he showed up with a tub of shea butter and gave me a foot massage with it. I love foot massages. I have been told that I will receive the full body treatment shortly.
Bring it, pretty please.
Ive been dealing with AF this week who is making a royal bitch of herself.
I should be filling out the last of my required paperwork tomorrow before I begin management training.
On Friday morning, I receive an e mail from John. "Could you send me the name of the insurance company?"
That's it. I'm thinking OMG we had a 4 day lapse in our coverage, and he had an accident on that day. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
So, I go to work, and I'm geeked. I can't concentrate. So, I go home for lunch and call him. I didn't want to call him, but I needed to find out what was wrong.
In short, no accident, but he got pulled over.
I can breathe again.
Unfortunately though, he asked some questions that I told him he didn't want the answer to. I didn't want to hurt him. I wasn't going to lie to him.
Yes, I've been seeing someone.
Yes, It's Mike.
Yes, I've 'done that'.
No, I'm not answering that question.
He LISTENS to me.
He treats me well
Our marriage is over in every way that matters.
We are only legally bound.
I am trying to file the paperwork, but I don't have the money.
Are you trying to ask if I am in love with him?
Yes. Yes, I am.
He tells me that he's disappointed that I didn't wait until our divorce was final to 'do things' and 'find someone new'. Again, I can not believe that he picks now to care that he has a wife. wtf.
I was really frazzled by that conversation. He has a lot of nerve.
I worked a crappy 10 hour, stressful shift, that day, and just shook when I got home. I worked out, went to bed early.
I woke up at the horrible 5:oo a.m. in order to be at work at the horrible 6:00 a.m. at the campus store on game day.
I got my ass worked.
I was going to stay until 2, but I could only hang until 1
I was beat. AF has really taken the fight out of me this week. And she's further going to cramp my style (pun intended) tomorrow when I have my day with Mike.
It's late, I am going to try and get to bed so that I can be with it tomorrow, and try to break this exhaustion.
hugs and love
Friday night was rehearsal and dinner.
I invite you to my inner dialogue during the momentous occassion.
Pull up to church, make mad dash out of VUE, in the doors in search of Susie.
Right past groom
Bitka: emmm Linda, this is John
Me: Hi John! (still running past him looking for Susie)
No Susie yet... Must crochet.
Crochet crochet crochet
Susie's here?
*pounces on Susie from the front while Liz pounces Susie from the back*
It's a Susie sandwhich!
Does the pastor have highlights? or is that natural for him?
Up the aisle down the aisle
don't trip over your dress
up the aisle down the aisle
remember to smile.
(you mean between tears right?)
*choke*
There are going to be storm troopers?
Rock on.
The music is starwars? Suhweet.
get in car go to rehearsal dinner
musthavefood
really hungry
(have I talked about Mike yet?)
mongolian bbq seems v far from church when v hungry
hmmm mongolian bbq lotsa tofu and peanut/garlic sauce
lovely presents from Susie and John
everyone done eating? i happen to be ready to par tay
go to pub
par tay
dance
violate susie while dancing
bootyshake w/ bitka
dance
be maternal with liz
dance
roll eyes at skanky faeries
dance
buy blow jobs (they are drinks you pervs) for susie, liz, and bitka
am dismayed by the fact that they use plastic cups instead of shot glasses
making it impossible to properly drink the 'blow job'
dance
get tired
drive everyone to the hotel.
(have I talked about Mike yet?)
sluggishly get ready for bed
SLEEP
ITS SEVEN THIRTY AND YOU WILL NEVER IN YOUR LIFE SLEEP IN AGAIN! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WENT TO BED AT 2:48PM.
that was the internal clock.
try to go back to sleep
GET THE FUCK UP BITCH. YOU KNOW I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO SLEEP.
damnable.
look for signs of life
everyone zonked.
I'll fix you O Internal Time affliction.
This place has a fitness center. i'm putting your ass on the treadmill
then we are gonna pump iron.
45 mins later
how do ya like me now?
FOOD
get somewhat ready... all but the dress
signs of life
people are stirring
more food!
can i have this? no. can i have this? no.
OOOH! I can have fruit loops!!!
k.
Get upstairs
Shower
Iron dresses
fight with iron
Iron dresses
fix Liz's hair
fix Bitka's hair
Holy fucking bobby pins batman. BUT IT STAYED UP AND LOOKED GREAT.
(sometimes, all i need is the air that i breathe and to love you!!! have i talked about Mike yet?)
Get Susie ready
Order Susie pizza
Get Susie ready!
Get on the dress (woohoo!)
oops it's a bit loose
yank on the top
i know! i'll just put a box of tissues in the top!
practice walking up and down steps
yank on the top
i could put my digital camera in the top.
Get Susie ready some more
Get Susie out the door!
All of us ride in really huge limo to church
wooooowwww... i'm riding in a limo
yank on top
Here is part II
yank on top, breathe in real deep and hold in your breath,
it brings 'the girls ' up and it helps keep the dress up
don't care that it makes you turn purple.
Ok Liz! You go first!
walk down aisle
for the love of jove, do not trip on your dress
grab all three layers of dress, do not trip
there's Susie! she looks beautiful!
steal a look at jon
uh oh, he's all teary eyed
i'm done for.
*sniff*
do i hear Liz sniffing?
Susie's crying too?
damn.
breathe in through your nose it keeps you from crying harder
(break in innerdialogue to say that I absolutely adored the ceremony.
It was the most beautiful and most original ceremony I have ever been
to. I loved to see the look of love and pride a father and mother have
for a daughter. I loved to see a man so free in his expression of love
for his bride that he cried openly. The selected readings were superb.
I enjoyed this wedding as I have not enjoyed any other wedding. Usually,
I am a photographer, and I see things very technically through a lens.
Or I am a family member thinking "come on, we all came for the reception"
But this was original, and sweet, and just a breath of fresh air mixed in
with the traditional things. I found it refreshing. I thought it was
wonderful that my friend Susie had love for a man who loved her in return.
It was a moving moment in time, and I was so proud to stand up there with
them and family and friends. A true privilege.)
"May the Greatest Force be with you" (That is my favorite quote
from the preacher)
Let's play get Susie in the Limo with the least amount of fuss
on her and her dress.
RUN
*looks at Susie* Is it sleeting?
It is sleeting!
Run back to church. Hair is screwed.
Bitka: Why did you come back?
(Was I supposed to just stand outside? aren't the bride and groom
usually by themselves for the limo ride?)
Me: Emm... aren't they taking the limo by themselves?
Bitka: No.
Me: Oh.
Liz and I hi tail it to the limo
Limo driver gets turned around
Guys ask for beer stop
Champagne.
Damn that tastes good.
No beer for me, thank you.
No, no more champagne for me either.
Oh, ok. one more glass.
*gulp*
What do I usually drink?
Tequila lime and sugar....
(why do you ask?)
Arrive at reception
Dude, there's bagpipes
(Liz, Susie, Bitka, and I ogle kilted man walking up the steps playing bag pipes)
I mean (Susie looks lovingly at Jon, while, Bitka, Liz, and I ogle man in kilt)
the three of us: that's hot. totally.
Pictures
Photographer to me: You're my back up photographer!
smile and let him think that.
smile and let him think that.
do not tell him that the bride will certainly tell him that I am her photographer
will always be her photographer, and that he better be able to capture her.
remember that you picked being the bridesmaid over being the photographer.
(thank you Susie)
*mutter underbreath*
I will not tell the photographer how to do his job.
I will not tell the photographer how to pose people
I will not tell the photographer that large cameras are a sign of penis envy
if you can't do it with a regular camera, chances are you need more schooling
I will not tell the photographer he needs more schooling.
I will not tell the photographer anything.
I will not let the photographer use my sandwhich line.
I will shut my mouth and smile.
I will I will.
I will.
*smiles*
Enter reception!
Sit down
Oooooh look, the champagne is directly behind Bitka, Liz and I.
Oooooh, there's a storm trooper directly behind Bitka, Liz and I.
(Here's a part where I break form and thank Susie for making sure my
name place said 'Ms' and not 'Mrs', and for seeing that there was a
vegan meal just for me. It's little things that make up big friends.)
Dancing!
Dance with Bitka... oh wait. There's a stormtrooper. I'm a bridesmaid.
They can't tell me no.
Holds out hand, nabs stormtrooper.
Score.
Bitka: Dude you left me.
Me: I'm sorry... there was a stormtrooper.....
Bitka gets nabbed by stormtrooper.
Jon puts my hand on stormtrooper's ass.
Score!
Keep hand on storm trooper's ass.
Rock on.
Later. switch storm trooper.
assume loose and lame slow dancing position.
get grabbed by storm trooper and pulled right into storm trooper
and into proper position, and actually get led.
whoa nelly.
enjoy really great dance.
stumble.
Me: Sorry, I am not the greatest at following, I am used to leading.
TK465: At least you aren't back leading.
take bad step
TK 465: That's back leading.
Me: snicker
still enjoy really great dance
bad step again.
both of us snicker.
dance is over.
Me to Bitka: Dude. That Stormtrooper can totally dance, whatever you do
you have to dance with him.
Later, she dances with him.
Bitka to me: Dude, that was awesome.
Me: squeal
Bitka: squeal
Liz: How about those badgers!?
We dance some more
We love on Bonnie
We dance some more
We realize that it's time to say goodbye.
We have our dance.
We all start getting weepy.
Bitka and I get escorted by TK 465 to the steps, and told to think naughty
thoughts (we kept asking his name and he kept saying TK 465)
We drive to Bitka's home
Bitka checks her messages
Bitka: aww! Mike called my phone to wish you a Happy Sweetest Day!
Me: AWW! You have to rewind it. I must hear it with my own ears!
listens.
*melt*
have i talked about Mike yet? let's talk about Mike!
blah blah blah, Mike is so great
blah blah blah, such a good man
blah blah blah, treats me so well
blah blah blah, pays attention to me.
blah blah blah, am stupid for him.
We arrive at Bitka's, Liz gets ready.
Bitka: Dude, we made great time.
cough85cough
We drive Liz to bus station, still in our dresses.
Jiminey its fuckin cold out.
wtf.brrr.
We pet Liz give her hugs and love and depart.
Go home.
get out of dress
get into PJs
zonk.
here's the part where i get turned around for an hour and a half, (went the wrong way
on the highway, and then run out of gas. i was waiting to hit 75 and then get
food and gas, and smooth sailing. but noooo. this car is empty before it gets to 'E')
damnable.
put my boquet in water in the cup holder, (it was like having you guys still with me.)
drive drive drive
get home.
tell Lady just like a little kid, sounding just like 'this one time at...'
i'm sure all she heard was:
Michigander
Princess Leia (m sure i spelled that wrong)
Storm trooper
starwars music
dance
violate
dance
pub
hotel
fitness center
limo
church
wedding
starwars music
storm trooper
dancing
look at my flowers!
The end!
Yay!
VD is the name I've given to the name of the street that I looked for an hour last night. It's an abbreviation, and apparently this tangle of macadem in Michigan is all connected. I suspect that it's like a rather large ball of yarn, unravelled and left on the floor. If you were to pick up the end, you'd find that it was all connected.
I knew that I had to be close because eminem was played at least 3 times on one station, lets not even go into when I changed stations. But that's ok, I like eminem, and I was needing something a bit perky.
So, I gave phone call to Bitka, then to Christian and received directions, and still got turned around. But that's ok, I got here. That is what matters.
I picked up Liz this morning at the bus station, and we are all just sorta in this surreal state. It's been so long, and all three of us are tired, even though, poor Bitka had to go to work. Liz is sleeping, and I'm chatting with Calima while enjoying Bitka and Christian's cozy home, and a cup of vanilla Silk.
I suspect I'll be going for a ride a bit later to discover a few places and find my rabbit food. Then get back here and the festivities should begin shortly.
I get the feeling like it's going to be a whirlwind weekend.
Time always passes so quickly.
I have my cameras, I am going to have a long talk with Emily, apologize for running over her with the car, and hope that she forgives me, and explains to me the error of my ways, and lets me off with a stiff warning, and gives me good pictures. I don't know why, but I feel like the pics I've been getting from her lately are substandard, and hitting her with the car in April is the only real cause I can come up with.
It can't be operator error.
Boy, she can hold a grudge.
So, I'll be cleaning the camera and then we'll see if she settles down.
Im gonna try and catch a nap.
ya know, i find it really annoying any contact i have from john. i can't wait to have this marriage legally over with as well. i have sent him an e mail, after waiting for a bit in response to his, and i basically told him that i wanted him to get on with his life, and he said that i am still his wife, and that he's not going to move on, and he'll be severely disappointed if i do.
fuck that shit.
i am only his wife legally. that is it, that is all.
i feel like he is trying to still 'claim me' and that reeeeeeeeeeeally urks me.
shuffle me loose the spousal coil, please and thank you.
i find it very disgusting/ironic/whateveryouwishtocallit that he wants to put some sort of special preference on me now when he didn't before.
i know what it is like to be treated well now, and i see just how much like shit i was treated. i don't even think he realizes it. and that's the sad part.
but usually we miss a lot when we are so wrapped in our selves that we can't be bothered.
I have been more than a bit distracted lately. Unfocused is probably a better term. I feel like I have
a lot going on, but I look back, and realize that there isn't all that much. Just my normal life... and
of course, male distraction.
I have been likened to a humming bird. Between new schedules, new city, new job, getting things done
to go into management, new abode, new requirements, lack of routine, aggravation with computer
(again, normal life) I have just been hovering about from task to task as one of them starts to yell
louder than ther other. It is like trying to pacify quintuplets with ear infections.
The thumb is healing nicely, hardly looks like the bleeder that it was. I expected much worse than
this clean-almost-papercut-looking scab. Although, the feeling in it is right on par with other deep
cuts that I've had.
I am racking up the kiss ass points at work. They don't just love me now, they adore me. I really
just want to get into management, and I'm not kissing ass per se (totally not my style) but, I don't
hesitate to help whenever there's a problem. I pick up an hour here or there, do something that
someone else may not want to do.
Mgr#1, I have been a smart ass to since day one. He was a smart ass to me, and it turns out, that
he likes that in a person. Someone who doesn't take it personal when he applies pressure.
Co Mgr (#2) Totally hot. Totally wants me. Scarey thing is.... it's true. A co-worker divulged the
goods when I caught the last line of conversation and thought for sure that I heard my name being
mentioned. I was just in disbelief.
Mgr #3 He is... well, I call him molasses. Slow, but knows how to do everything. Doesn't really know
how to delegate, or move people around, or tell people to help. V. annoying.
Mg#4 He and I compete.
Mgr#5 I'm not sure what to think of her, I've not worked much with her, but I do notice that they tend
to throw her into situations, and I am hoping that I do not end up as Mgr # 6, getting thrown into
those situations too.
This weekend is the wedding (whoopee! I am so mf stoked, you just don't know) I anticipate arriving in MI
on the doorstep of one Bitka's abode, around 11 pm. I think that there is just enough space in the top
of the bridesmaid's dress to shove tissues for crying, because i sure don't need the stuffing.
Mike came over on Sunday, we played hookie. He took me to a restaurant an hour and a half away that
prides itself on being organic/vegetarian/vegan. They had tofu on the salad bar, and I knew I was in
heaven. We had a vegan/vegetarian pizza (he wouldn't even get cheese on his side) And just shared
the pizza, had a salad, and some rootbeer. Then he drove me around to show me places that he grew up,
and took me to the park so that we could walk along the creekside to a special place he would go to.
When we go back again, I hope that there is more daylight. I did not get a great look at it, but what I did
see of it, was absolutely wonderful. Then he took me home, and we stayed up and talked for a few hours.
It was a perfect day.
Not to say that the euphoria has dimmed, because it hasn't, but the earaching quintuplets are all
screaming at me, and i must refocus. I am scatterebrained as it is, and if I don't have a game plan,
I'm pretty screwed. So, when I return home on Sunday, I will have to lay out the next few weeks and just
push myself back into a routine again. Throw into all of this the need to up my work out because emmm,
well lets just say February is a highly anticipated month, and until all the wee dominoes line up and fall into
place, working out and chocolate are about the best means of satisfaction that I am going to have.
Well, I have to get into bed and get some sleep, I have a lot to do tomorrow after my 10 hour work day to get
ready for the weekend.
x
I was just thinking tonight how time used to feel like it was going so slowly. But now it seems to fly.
It has been a year since I left Glasgow, It has been nearly 1.5 years since I've seen Kim and Susie, 2 years since I laid eyes on Liz, and 1 year and 1 month since I spent time with Pat.
I can't believe that.
So much has happened this past year. When it was happening, everything seemed exaggerated. Everything seemed slow. But now that it is over and I am looking back, I am dumbfounded.
It has already been a month since I left John.
Everything is crazy. But in a good way.
I did manage to slice my thumb at work while doing lettuce. Yes there is a first time for everything, no I didn't wear the cut glove, and yes, I did do exactly as I said I would, stop the bleeding, and get back to work. Yes, I should have gotten stitches. Yes it sucks to baby your left thumb. You never realize just how much you use your opposing digit until you can't. Wrap your perverted minds around that.
Tomorrow, I am playing hookie. My staffmaker and I are going to skip the meeting. He wants to take me somewheres, and he won't say where. He says food will be involved. I am really impressed that he has gone out of his way to know what I can and can't eat, and tries to find things to make, that I can have.
Lady had spent some time in the hospital this week, but everything is fine and ok, and she is back to her normal shenanigans about the house. Though, I do try to take care of things for her.
We made salve tonight. That, is very exciting, however, I seem to be of weaker stature than Lady, because I can not handle the fumes. I had to flee the kitchen for the most part.
I look forward to making non medicinal things.
I am living the life of a spoiled bitch. I love, I am loved, and I have started writing again.
I am the bagel queen.
Ok, maybe not. But, whoever she is, consider the bitch imminently dethroned.
I have been making bagels lately. Sinfully easy. Disgustingly cheap. Divinely delicious.
Perfect weather for baking recently. Cold in the shade, warm in the sun, just about 60 degrees.
This past weekend was wonderful. We had several people over for a tattoo party which
Terrylynn and Kat (from Michigan) came down and did the tattooing. We just held it here.
It got a bit much here and there as people talking over each other really bothers me sometimes.
Madame D. Buffalo came over (very kind of her to visit those of us who are lower on the excellence
scale), and we crocheted and just blabbed. I think I did more blabbing than she did. I had planned
on going to bed after she left, but I was pleasantly suprised by a visit from my lovely staffmaker.
He stayed until 5 in the a.m. and we talked. No you perverts, body language was not the dialect.
I started falling asleep mid sentence, but especially (and not intentionally) when he was talking, and
I had to be at work at 7 a.m. and boy was it rough to work the ten hour shift after only 1 hour of sleep.
(Yeah, I was stupid and took a nap) There seems to be a problem with time whenever he visits.
Because somehow, I don't know how we manage 12 hour visits, but it
never feels like more than 2 hours.
This just in:
Fresh bagels and tofutti 'cream cheese' (vegan impersonation) are the bomb. It spreads like cream cheese.
It tastes like cream cheese (as I remember it). I am a very happy girl.
Gotta run, stuff to do.
x
Well, the people I work with are eccentric for sure.
We have Mike, who is about 60... maybe 70, and has 8 daughters. He is a lady's man.
Gloria, who calls me shorty (pronounced show tay), also about the same age as Mike. They play back and forth all day, either fighting or loving... you never know.
Tim, the manager who is hot.
There are others but today we will deal with them.
The campus store needed help. Mike said that he needed to go to another store to work so that he could look at other women. I told him, that I was offended, and I was going to tell Gloria.
Gloria came in, I spilled the goods.
Gloria looked at him as he tried to suck up and said, "I done told you that 2 broke mo'fuggers don't mix. Go on, go look at some cheap ass on campus.
I've been snorting over that retort for two days.