Today is my 32nd Birthday. Thou shalt go forth and eat guacamole in my honor.
It seems that I have fallen into the habit of updating weekly. I mean to update more, but I find myself in the time crunch lately.
Shannon, I do apologize for the delay in responding, but to answer your question about supplementation.:
Very good that you wish to supplement your current eating plan. What I have tried to keep in mind is that the body eats wether your mouth does or not. If you aren't giving it what it needs, you are literally canibalizing yourself and making for a very miserable old age.
Yes, I do take a protein/vitamin shake every day. Sometimes twice a day when I am too lazy to cook.
This is what I take. I find that it works well, does give me a great deal of energy, and is pleasant to drink. I mix one scoop of the powder in a cup of soy milk, add 2 ice cubes and 1/2 of a banana, then blend it until smooth.
I find that If I replace the afternoon meal with this, it also works as an appetite suppressant. I am much less likely to crave sweets in the evening.
Speaking of sweets, the other supplement that I use is Stevia. Stevia is a super potent sweetener and is better for you than sugar and other sweetening products. I am not a big fan of plain water so I drink a very weak tea. I only need 1/2 teaspoon of pure stevia extract (don't get anything with fillers, you'll be wasting your money it must say pure stevia extract) to sweeten a whole gallon of tea. The tea that I drink is made with 2 bags of bigelow earl grey, and 1 bag of bigelow plantation mint. It is an excellent replacement for diet drinks and is wonderful. Every now and then I will want a soda, but mostly, I drink this tea.
I hope this helps you.
I made bread and cinnamon rolls last night. Mike and I met when I used to run the coffee shop for the hippie retreats. Mike claims buying/eating my fresh-from-the-oven cinnamon rolls was our first erotic moment. I claim that it was when he volunteered to help me clean up the kitchen as I was closing up shop and I didn't have to tell him how to properly clean anything.
Anyhow, he had made a few references to my cinnamon rolls, and I thought to go ahead and make them before he had to come right out and beg.
I did an experiment with the cinnamon rolls, a different sort of filling, and I will say that they are the mother-fuckin bomb. I rock. I *so* rock.
I had a frustrating week at work last week, and I'll sum it up :
I tried really hard to apply myself and show my willingness to work, and I got nothing but exhaustion for it. There was one point where the manager actually had me in tears. He apologized later, whatever. I hate getting worked up to that point. I hate when there is nothing that you can do to hold back tears. Then, you get mad because you are crying, so you cry harder. Trying to regain composure was so difficult, I had been pushed too far.
I went back to my doctor after three years. No I don't believe in annual check ups, but yes, I will get an annual if I must in order to get the pill. Because of the nature of PCOS, I've had enough examinations to last a lifetime.
The mind is incredible. It can play tricks on you. I had to wait for 45 minutes int he exam room for the doctor to get to me. I had no problem with waiting, My doctor is awesome, she doesn't rush you. She'd spent one hour and fifteen minutes in an appointment with me before, it's all karma.
At any rate. I hadn't been back to the doctor's office since I had my 2nd nervous breakdown and was certain I was having a heart problems. I realized at one point that I was in the same exam room, and that nothing had changed. Everything was the same. For a millisecond, I was right back in 2000 and the nightmare approached me that maybe these last four years were just a fantasy.
Thankfully, I brought my ipod and crocheting so I wasn't completely alone with those thoughts. I was a little shook up that day, the residual energy in that room was making my head spin.
My memory foam pillow is awesome. A lot of the tweaking in my neck has been reduced to nominal. The cats think it is awesome too. I will wake up with my head off of the pillow and one of the four will be sleeping cozy on MY memory foam. I did get a massage from Trish with the Imma-gonna-beat-your-muscles-into-submission hands, so the tendon has been rubbed out and isna happy.
My neck is on the mend. Hurrah for memory foam. Still a little tweaked, but it gets better every day. This is great. I had troubles trying to isolate the problem area before, it was really bad there for a bit. I even contemplated going to the chiropracter. I don't like to visit any doctors office. No thank you.
That brings me to my lovely annual visit with my doctor this year. Fun, fun, fun, on Thursday. Woot woot.
Ok, so I'm exaggerating. A lot.
The barter system is alive and well in my household. I loathe ironing. I am a manager. My uniforms need ironing, or they look hideous. After bemoaning my fate, Lady asks me if I want to trade but does not mention what it is that she wishes to trade. This strikes fear in my heart. She's a creative woman, and I will do almost anything to avoid ironing. She tells me to make an offer.
I will do the floors (the whole house has hardwood floors, and what isn't hardwood is tile or linoleum) In exchange for her to iron my uniforms. Rock on. I like doing the floors. So, I'll be starting on that project soon. I can't help but wonder if I'm giving her the raw end of the deal, I have six shirts and six pants and I put them through hell, not to mention getting the cat fur off with the lint brush is enough to piss me off till I am foaming at the mouth... sometimes. Oh, that reminds me, I need to get a plastic garment bag to help avoid the whole cat hair thing.
I wonder about getting older. Yes, my birthday is in 2 weeks. March 26, and I will be turning 32. I am not one of those people that looks at getting older and says, "oh, I wish I was young again." Being young was crap, and confusing. I like my age, and I hope to continue liking my age. I like to think that I have things mostly sorted out, and that I'm making progress in the right direction.
That being said, I notice lines. They've become so much more evident this year than the other years. I know that this year has been stressful, but I find that I am starting to consider buying things like eye cream. I notice that the lines are very similar to my father's lines. I consider buying stock in eye cream.
My hearing is worse. But that's been a given since I was born, I've had problems with my ears and nose since I was little. The inner ear didn't form right or something or other. The vessels in my nose are very near the surface. I shouldn't take aspirin or sneezing becomes a bad thing. Sneezing shouldn't be red.
Ok so, above are some mentioned problems, and there is a reason that I'm mentioning it. As you get older, these things are supposed to keep happening. Multiplying even. So... I am not trying to resort to desperate measures... but I heard the term, 'grow old gracefully'. Anyone can feel free to define it, as i am not new to the phrase, but the older I get, the more different meanings it has.
So, in a nutshell... don't have a problem with the birthday, but the idea of becoming a frail old lady (with lots of eye cream stock) isn't my favorite daydream.
Maybe it should just be, 'Get over yourself'.
Ok, I've rambed quite enough, I've to put my uniforms in the wash and start these floors.
I'm totally doing the I-don't-have-to-iron dance.
I am still at the tail end of the cold. Doing marvelous compared to this time last week.
My beloved did come and spend the day with me. A little more than 24 hours, and it was wonderful. We went and saw 'Finding Neverland'. That film is wonderful. I think that it's a real treat for anyone who loves Peter Pan, and for anyone who has ever truly imagined something.
He brought about 5 staves (plural of staff, not that I think my readers are morons, but the word is sorta odd... but I like it.) He even shared with me the secret of how he ties the leather knotwork, and I started making one myself.
I'm having technology issues with my cell phone.
I'm just having technology issues... went to update my photos, but I forgot my passwords and such, i'll have to beg the help of the lovely Calima, IT superhero for the technologically challenged....
anyhoo.
My sister is having a boy. I so knew it.
Today before the Staffmaker left, he took me to the jewelry expo at Vet's Memorial. I felt happy to go with him, and was certain that I'd leave with some beads.... Oh, it's the motherload of beads. I'm not big into jewelry. I like it, but sometimes it doesn't agree with me. Doesn't feel like me... so I'll go a long time with only wearing my earrings. (clothes too, perverts)
Mike likes the expo because he loves rocks, and oriental style carved boxwood. Also he likes to mount crystals into the tops of his staves. It's a beautiful effect. The expo is the best place to get this stuff.
So, we are going mostly for him, and mostly for me to understand the things that he likes, maybe see if I like it too.
Oh boy did I.
There are so many beautiful pieces at the expo, It's a bit like walking through a museum. Freshwater pearls... Oh, how I love pearls. I love freshwater coloured pearls for beadwork, I love black pearls for classic jewelry. I just love pearls. Not so much the white ones, but they are lovely too. I just love colourful precious things from the ocean. See, I like jewelry, I'm just particular.
Then we passed by a booth with the most beautiful pieces of amber. 3' long strands of gorgeous amber beads and trinkets. Just beautiful. And I saw IT.
Oh you know, that thing that you just fall in love with. It was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. An oval amber pendant/broach with an etched cameo in the back wonderfully mounted in a silver boarder. The woman in the pendant was younger than most, and she had a vine deeply etched and travelling 3/4 of the way around it. But alas, the price was out of range. Oh, I hope the owner of that piece treasures it. Its unique. A true work of art.
We went on and on through this place full of shiney gorgeous things, and I did love it. I was admittedly apprehensive, but I really enjoyed it. Especially the estate jewelry. All the antiques... *drool* All the time I learned not to look overly hard or covetous towards anything reasonably priced that I liked, as Mike threatened to take any wistful sigh as permission to buy it for me.... and as an artist, I like to look.... Oh, I love to touch the work too. (Terrible museum manners, I know)
Not to leave this entry without finding some body part to complain about, we shall write a bit about the neck that doesn't like any of my pillows. Finally, I have memory foam pillow that I hope will remedy this pain in a week or so. It was so badly aggravated that Mike carried my purse through the expo. When I tried to take it back from him he rather loudly said, "It's my purse dammit, I'll carry it, and if you try to take it from me again, I'll start yelling out 'purse snatcher." To which, I instantly hid my face in his shoulder at the nearby people chuckling. Yep, I turned red again. I have Trish coming over tomorrow to help me realign my back. She's brutal, But, Oh so good.
Before we left the jewelry expo, I was gifted with THE cameo. I cried like a baby.
That would describe me at the moment.
I am finally operating at about 95%. (As far as colds go.) Still a little bit of a lingering presence, but it's mostly gone, and I can function. Functioning is good. Functioning is how we make progress.
I am not exagerating when I say that I went to bed, woke up, and went to work.
That covers the 'better' part.
Anxious.... well, I can't explain it. I am usually pretty keen on sensing when 'something is up'. But nothing has appreared. Which makes me also say 'better not dwell on this anxious feeling because you don't want to make something happen'. But nothing is forthcoming, and that is truly annoying. My Hawk senses are tingling. Usually I would not be too worried, but numbers are starting to make themselves known. And what I mean by numbers is seeing things like this all day:
105-501
310-130
and so on. Perhaps I should play the lottery.
Anyhow, Tomorrow, I take Crystal for her ultrasound. She has finally decided that she wants the baby.
Tomorrow promises to be an extra awesome day as my Beloved Staffmaker is coming to spend the whole day with me. I really should be in bed but I can't sleep right after work when I close. Especially since they've pissed me off. Severely. I suspected that my clock in/ clock out time was being tampered with. I discovered tonight that I am correct. Tomorrow, heads will roll. The next level of manager makes 2x as much as I do, they are salary, and they get a bonus check to boot. You get bonus checks by running an efficient store. Basically, and principally, they are taking money out of my pocket, and put it into theirs. To make it even better, the next level isn't that much more work than what I do already.
Ok. Gonna try and unwind and go to sleep. My love visits tomorrow, and I'd liek to be bright eyed and bushy tailed. Or something like that.
How about, I'd like to be well rested and in a better mood so that I don't bite everyone's head off.....
thats better.
goodnight.
x
It seems like the momento from my trip to Detroit is a cold. At first it wasn't so bad. But then it just sorta settled in and has made the last three days very miserable. I lost my voice and it's taking it's precious time at returning. 3 days, I should have my voice back.
Friday, I went to Chipotle with Dusty and we chatted over our wonderously beautiful burritos. Dusty was very kind and took me to other stores so that I could pick up a few groceries. This cold seems to have a direct tap into my energy reserves. Talking exhausts me. Usually, my talking exhausts others.
I repaid Dusty by giving her not only a loaf of my precious whole wheat bread, I let her in on the recipe.
Sunday nights are ceremoniously awesome because that is my night with the Staffmaker. Since he pampered me during the trip to Detroit, I pampered him last night by giving him a male manicure/pedicure. He grows his nails because he also makes beaded jewelry and he likes being able to grab the beads easily.
I tried to call off of work on Saturday and then again on Sunday. I was feeling so exhausted and run down that I knew that it would make my cold stick around longer if I worked both of those shifts. (10 hours, each shift on a weekend in a restaurant is no fun when you are ill, Not to mention the fact that you really shouldn't be in a restaurant if you are that sick.)
No dice. The area manager had some empathy and told me that I could come in 2 hours later, and that they would do what they could to see that I got out of work early. He told Tom (co-manager) to let me go around 2pm. At the latest 4pm. I go into work, and where does Tom put me even though he knows I'm sick? Coordinating Drive Thru. That means that during lunch, I am the person getting all the orders out the window. Hello??? I'm sick, give me a slightly easier task and for fuck's sake keep me away from the window. Not to mention that I have no voice, how the fuck am I supposed to call out for the things that I need? I made it through the position because I took a Daytime Contact cold pill. AKA lots of caffeine and heavy duty cold pill.
What does Tom do during lunch? NOTHING. He runs a position called "operations leader". This is a fairy tale position. In theory: Ops leader is someone who manages the shift by constantly walking through the store and seeing what needs to be fixed or corrected. In reality, they don't give you enough of allowance with Labor hours to run this position as a manager.
When the area manager left, Tom went right back to the office and stayed there for over an hour and a half.
Remember, The area manager leaves under the impression that I am to be let out early.
I call the area manager at 5 pm and let himi know that his beloved Tom has left at 4, and basically told me that 'You seem to be okay, I think it's just your voice that's out.'
What you don't know is that last week, I worked a 12 hour shift so that Tom wouldn't be so shorthanded. I can work 2 extra hours to help him, but he can't help me, and further more has the nerve to say that he doesn't think that I'm really all that sick? That makes him an asshole and a lazy fucker.
So, he ran up the labor hours. Becuase he's lazy. He's number 2 in comand at my store and doesn't know how to run labor... I can run labor... and I'm new.
Anyhow, so I tried to call off for Sunday's shift, and the area manager had tried to get someone else there to cover my shift. Still, no dice. I ended up having to work the whole 10 hour shift, exhausted, and ready to pass out if I stood up too fast.
So, in light of this very harsh display of just how unimportant my health is to my employers, I plan on having a wee talk with my area manager about possibly being transferred to another store. There are several issues besides this one that I'll be bringing up. They include the fact that I was distinctly given a different impression of 'how different this would be in comparison to the othe rmanagement experiences that I've had.' I asked these questions. I was lied to. I loathe this sort of confrontation, but very simply put, I can make more somewhere else and put up with less.
Not to mention that all the things that I was willing and gladly giving in the past, are a thing of the past. They can't extend themselves for me, I will not extend myself for them.
I am going to try and lay down for the evening.
I hope that I feel like going back to the gym soon. I have no energy.