This past week has been a bundle of nerves. While it is great to receive a promotion, it's also very difficult because I am not getting the traditional promotion. You know, the one with 12 weeks training. In fact, I am going straight to my new store today. This store has a lot of problems and I know that the next month is going to be an extreme amount of work.
This store has 2 shift managers (hourly) They have set schedules. That's an odd thing. I was told that you weren't allowed to have set schedules, that you had to have a completely open schedule...... Now, I feel I've been lied to. But then again I expect it.
Anyhow, one shift manager has opening shift, the other has closing shift.... this means that I get the fucking mid shift. I hate mid shift. That's both lunch and dinner rush that you get. Fuck. But I'm holding out. I am not allowing myself to be played, I am allowing them enough rope to hang themselves.
The good thing about this job is that there are Wendy's everywhere. Nationwide. I can almost guarantee with my work history, motivation, and training, to walk into a Wendy's and get a good management job. Anywhere. So, I use them too.
Soon as I learn what I have to, I am going to be commuting from Dayton. For one year. Yes it's a horrible commute, but there are worse. If they screw me, they make my life easier by taking away any sentiment of loyalty towards them and freeing me karmically to find a job in Dayton, no commute. But I don't believe it is right to use them to just get the training and then leave in three months.
My last day at my old store sucked. I tried to have a serious discussion with my General Manager about why I wanted to leave.... and he just wasn't mature enough for it. He was very underlined saying 'fuck you' so I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Excuse me for taking the person that you were figuratively screwing and lying to away.
My sister is due late July.... My family is in the same city and I haven't seen them since April.
I have a shitton of things to send in the mail.... I have bags of things... just waiting for me to find the right box and go to the post office.
Father's day is just around the corner....
I don't know when I am going to get to spend much time with Mike until we actually move in. (Outside of Sunday Nights.) After this past weekend, Which was absolutely lovely, and I will write more about it either tonight or tomorrow, It's a lot of work.
I'm psyched out because I see my 50 hour work weeks, the gym for 2 hours- 3X a week, and all the chores and responsibilities that I have here just hanging over my head.... and I'm going to be moving on top of it. It is a lot of work in the next year, and while I know it's neccessary and for a worthwhile cause, there is a price for motivation.
I had so much sugar in retaliation yesterday that I woke up sick this morning. Bleah.
In my defense this whining is only a phase. It's scarey what I am doing. Give me a month to develop a new rhythm to my new schedule/life change and I'll totally step up to bat and hit a fuckin homerun.
Well, I have been extremely busy as of late. I've been trying to get back to the gym on a habitual basis. The elliptical machine is my new favourite, and I enjoy it because I can spend a good hour on it without killing my knees.
Unfortunately, My feet are complaining. Loud enough for me to actually go buy a decent pair of shoes. this will cost money. I prefer to save my money, but alas.
I have also been working at a different Wendy's here and there to help out with some of the problems they've been having.
The hard work has paid off.
Monday, I get promoted. I don't get as much as I had hoped for, but I got more than they originally tried to offer and was quite proud of myself for negotiating a higher salary. I very calmly and factually listed off all the reasons that I felt I deserved a bit more than the average assistant manager. Go me.
My raise is about twice as much as I currently make. Go me, yet again.
Unfortunately, with that raise, it means that I am salary. With salary, I am looking at 50 hour work weeks instead of 40 hour work weeks. I knew this before I sought promotion. That's ok. It just means that I need to manage my time better. Something that I need to work on anyways. Time management is an oxymoron when you have a muse.
On the same day that I found out about my promotion, I got an email stating that my divorce was filed. Don't have a date for the divorce yet. But it is really going to happen. It is so strange to spend so much time with someone, and then one day, you don't.... ever again. I don't know how much any feelings that I may have for him are pity, love, or just habit. But I do find it sorta sad that there was once something that I felt that is no longer there. However, I understand that I would not appreciate my new relationship nearly as much had I not gone through the last (almost) 12 years. That number gets longer when you consider that I met John when I was 16.
Moving on to better things...
Mike and I are going to spend this weekend together. I only have to work Saturday, and then I have Sunday/ Monday off. We are going to stop in at the hippie retreat and say hi to some friends, and also make our appearance. This is where we met, we know a lot of different people and a lot of the same people at the events, it's going to be a bit strange as our circle of friends figure out that we are a couple... ( and all the other bitches can weep because HE'S MINE... I GOT THE STAFFMAKER, EAT IT BITCHES... WATCH ME SNOG WITH MIKE ALL DAMN WEEKEND. .... don't know where that came from) emmm. anyways.
I wonder if Auntie Loki would like to take Hemlock for a month and train him. Little bastard woke me up at four this morning because he wanted loving. I coccooned myself, and he figured out how to get under the blankets. Persistant brat.
Oh my god my shit is bruised.
Note to self:
Do not go extreme trail biking when you haven't ridden a bicycle in an unmentionable amount of years.
It was muddy, I wiped out five times (note the number five, means that I didn't give up.)
Five is the number of times that I was propelled sideways, downwards, one way or the other in an ungraceful like manner.
The number of times that I either gracefully, somewhat gracefully, or with very minute amounts of dignity(verbal accompaniment, quite classic) *dismounted* (read that as i did not wipe out and could have very likely said, 'i meant to do that') is infinate.
The second part of the 'note to self' would mean, DON'T RIDE A BOYS BIKE.
When I say, "My shit is bruised." I mean that it is probably a definition that you don't want. Suffice it to say that it's Sunday night, and Mike and I will be most likely, just watching a movie tonight.
The course markers went from A-Z. I did a number of wipeout/dismount/get backup on the bike, pedal pedal, pedal harder, oh shit, i dont have enough momentum to make it up the hill, dismount, walk the bike of the hill, psyche myself back up to the point of 'get back on the bike, this part of the trail is easy enough.... to get me to course marker L.
I was actually getting it. I figured out how to pull the handle bars back before going over stumps. I figured out how to brake (very very very important). I had a small rule, but very important one. "If you can not see the 20 feet of the trail, and you've been going uphill for a while. Get off the bike. You are about to plummet into a ravine." There's a huge amount of confidence that you gain from doing something so damn dangerous. It's a great mental exercise.
However, course marker L, the bike decided that it didn't like the stump in the mud ditch that I popped over ( I was so proud of that one ) and I had to walk the bike the rest of the way because of fear for damaging it further.
Now, I want my own bike. Green of course. With vine decals. I'm an addict in the making.
Ok, Imma gonna go pack my shit in ice.
seriously.
The title of this entry is brought to you by a conversation with Sean. I didn't know if dandylions grew in England, or even if they were called the same thing... so I assumed (yes, I make an ass of my self often) and explained to him that the little yellow flowers were dandylions. He snickered and said that he knew what they were and I defended myself with, I didn't know, for all I knew you could call them dandyfuckheads. He says he will call them dandyfuckheads henceforth.
I apologize for the delay in entries, however I've been having to readjust on a few levels.
First:
Vacation was much needed, I was overworked, stressed, exhausted physically and near emotionally because things felt like they were clouding over again and I've fought so hard to get to this spot. I let work have too high a priority in my life, and I allowed it to affect too many other areas of my life. I feel like my weeks vacation (especially since it was spent with great friends) was akin to hitting the 'Hawkie reset button'. I feel much better.
Second:
I have a new work/ work out schedule that I'm attempting to adapt. Developing a new 'good' habit, as it were. Basically, it can be defined as, "Get up, eat a good breakfast and go straight to the gym." I find that it helps set the whole tone of the day. With all my other responsibilities, that's been very time consuming. Whoever coined the phrase, "It takes 21 days to make a good habit" Should be fucking shot. Because it takes much more than that. To make a signifigant change in your life, it takes much much much much much longer. It took me six months to accept that I was vegan as a lifestyle instead of a restriction, and even still sometimes, I teeter upon going lacto-ovo.... only sometimes, when I want pizza, or doughnuts (insert Homer homage to doughnuts). But you can't argue with concrete results.
Third:
Having to get the things done around the house and just general lifestyle adjustments. Summer is coming, and I have some things that I want to get done.
Now we can move on.
Sleep. Blessed sleep. This is the part where I'd like to shoot myself for not remembering that I like to sleep with a fan. Somewheres down the line, I guess I thought that John needed the fan to sleep with. That the fan was his thing. But as it turns out, the fan has become my thing, and bless.. oh bless... I can sleep again... I almost get teary eyed.
Last week feels like a blur. But it was absolutely wonderful to be among my friends and share such a special time with Kim and Christian. Whenever Michiganders get together, there is usually a gift giving by one or two, or all of us... not anything big neccessarily, as it could be just something that made us think of each other. I gave the girls crocheted ponchos, I even made Katie a poncho. I began working on a scarf for Sean, and I have finally finished it. Hope it's long enough. :P
I forgot my Clematis.... Or actually, Kim's clematis that she didn't want anymore... damnable. Oh, I really wanted that thing. I also forgot my bottle of Stevia. I was very panicked at first, but it's worked out for the better. I have started drinking water again. (imagine that water tastes good... hmmm.)
I tried to move in to Kim and Christian's basement and take over their kitchen. My attempts were thwarted by having to go home. I think they would have let me stay if I really could have. I even had a brief deal worked out with Susie that I could stay with her and John until I pissed them off good enough and they sent me back to Kim and Christian.. vice versa.... It sounded good.... But alas, home, work... money.... damn the man.
I did make Cinnamon rolls, but didn't get to make much else. There was a lot to do with a shower and a wedding, and all of a sudden what seems like all the time in the world, has passed.
Mike came up on Saturday to meet everyone. It was wonderful to be able to share this with him. I told him (countless times) about my friends and how important they are, and the things that we have all gone through. Though he has yet to meet Calima, Pat, and Pris, it was nice that he got to meet those who started the whole thing.
As a group, we stand out. I don't contemplate 'why' anymore, I just accept it.
We were sitting down eating (and eating and eating, good grief, there was much foodage) and we happened upon Christian's writers group. They have a wicked sense of humor and we just batted back and forth and really enjoyed talking to them. It seems as though no matter who we talked to, they were all suprised to hear about how we met, and what we did.
The downstairs room was transformed into 'the nest'. I had the idea to get all of us in the room on the room sized bed on film (filthy perverts) acting like baby birdies in a nest, but somewhere that idea was lost.
The band that played "Bloom" was great. They even played a U2 song. (One) to which Mike happened to be on his way back from the store.... and walk into the living room and catch me dancing with Sean and singing to him, and telling him he didn't love me for my singing abilities... Or dancing for that matter. I'm not so great at slow dancing, the whole following thing... unless I have a strong leading partner.... wearing a stormtrooper outfit. oh wait, what was I saying?...
*sigh* the memories.
anyhow, I handed over pictures to Susie from her wedding, and they are on disk, soooooo I expect to see them online pretty soon *cough*
Okie, I think that's plenty for now, I must attend to my room before the roomates get home. I've not spent any time with them for a while, so I best make myself sociable.
Stay tuned for pictures from the Klaver's wedding. No, they aren't developed yet, but I'll be taking them either today or tomorrow...
If you read all of the above, and you still want more....
repeat after me, "I am a vinehumper."
xx
You know, I was almost all packed yesterday. But somehow everything went nutty. Everything was a jumbled mess until just about 15 minutes ago. Me thinks my lunch might not settle well. My face is threatening to break out. All was mutiny. If I were to try and explain it, it would sound like the most pathetic, predictable, slapstick comedy ever invented.
I think i'm packing heavier for this weekend than I did for Scotland... for a month.
I am waiting for my ride to the bus station. I will be arriving in Detroit at 7:40p tonight.
I don't usually get jittery, but anyone who talked to me today knows... I was freaking the fuck out.
I'm currently trying 'Ohm' my way to serenity...
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Have I mentioned that I am getting paid for today?
Aw yeah. I finally birthed a 2 year old brainchild today, and while I love Calima, I am so happy to be finished with it. I'll have to wait to take pictures and share, but patience, vinehumpers, patience.
As always, I am working on fifty projects at once. Today, I nearly had a disaster as a result of my unfamiliarity with dye lots. I was looking at a piece that was nearly done..... and there was a definate color change. My yarns were not from the same dye lot. My heart fell. This is terrible piss poor timing. So, of course remembering where I bought that yarn, and then hoping to find the same dyelot was a near impossible task. But, I was persistant. I found the *very* last of it's dye lot.... on the top shelf where they keep the over stock. I had nearly lost hope.
I put poor Dusty through hell yesterday as she watched me 'feel' my way through the yarn aisle... for the perfect yarn. Yes, it's an artist thing. The yarn has to talk to me. It can't be anything other than the perfect yarn for the perfect pattern for my vision... I imagine it was pure torture for Dusty.
As a result of photographing a wedding in an April snow shower, I am again, fighting this damn cold. Damnable. The sinus issues seem to be fading, but I am unable to keep a constant warm body temperature. Brrrrr.
Yesterday, my Mr Wonderful came over early and snuggled me and coddled me, and sat between Dusty and I :P
I made cheddar herbed bread yesterday, and from what I hear, it was the mf-bomb.
If I had a lawn chair, I'd take a nap in the sun. I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. really tired, and I have a dr's appt tomorrow morning to discuss the results of my blood tests. Usually not a fun thing, but I'm actually curious to get a little before/after info.