Other than a head cold, and a few big life hints that seem to be telling me "SLOW DOWN!!!" We are doing progressively better. I wont even attempt to sort the drama of these last few months into written words, but lets just say it would almost all of it be filed under "This sucks."
The temp service seems to have a job for me but it doesn't start until April 3rd. That's still 2-3 weeks later than I was hoping, but it's something. I had a few job offers, but I had to hold out for something that was temp to hire. You know, something with the hope that it would be permanent, and better in the near future.
Anyhow.
Had the kids last night, and I think that we accomplished our first 'normal' night. You know: bed, bath, tuck in, wake up, get ready, make breakfast, get to school. It was really nice.
I have a new car. Well, it's new for me. 1992 Saturn SL2. It's from my love.
I'm really excited about it. But oddly enough if you start talking to me about getting rid of Isabelle.....(my lil Dodge Colt) I nearly start crying. And I mean like I'm gonna bawl. Sentimental, gah! Tags, title, and OH DL tomorrow. I've been through so much with Isabelle... I dread the thought of her going to the great garage in the sky... and that's where she'd be going because she just isn't going to hold on much longer.
Bleah.
Anyhow, very excited about the new car. It's cute, it's quick, and it's (gasp) dependable. I mean, I can actually drive somewhere other than the immediate area with it without fear that I will break down.
Tonight, I have an appointment with a fitness center. They have a pool, and a decent gym. I'm completely stoked.
Currently, I am rockin out in the library with Mina (mini Ipod) and checking up on some events for this summer.
The interview with the temp agency on Monday took 1.5 hours. The interview with the second temp service took three dreadful hours yesterday. But I passed all of their sorting, picking, stocking, assembling, and character tests... and they have me in mind for the exact 2 clients that I heard that they were hiring for. Keep fingers crossed for me. It's temp to hire, and it would put a whole lot of things in order for us.
Well, I've a few other things to look up before I get tossed out of the library.
hugs
I stopped working at my job except for Saturdays. The smoke laden, split shift, slave driving just had to be ended. I was working myself into the ground, and as expected, everything around it started to show signs of strain. I'm currently looking for temp work and hoping to get in somewheres great. I'll be staying on at my old job for an undisclosed number of Saturdays until I scurry up enough moula for Scotland 2007.
We had the kids this past weekend. I was happy to have them, but again, I lack the rose colored glasses of biological parenthood. I am perplexed as to how I can meet nearly all of yous on line, and spend just a bit of time with some of you and wind up loving and adoring you all, but not able to bond or 'love' the kids yet. Oh, I care. There is the sort of love that happens when you are aware of your relationship and your responsibilities.... but... I don't have a bond with them. So, I see things for what they are... or I should say, " I see things a little more black and white."
I am trying not to take anything personally. I realize that they are just kids, but I swear they look like they are at a funeral when they are first coming over.
B cries at least once because he misses his mommy. Which, I believe is only part of the problem. I believe he misses his mommy treating him like a baby.
M comes over hardly at all, and anything we get her, she takes home with her... even though we've dropped the ever-not-so-subtle hint that we are buying her stuff so that she may have some things at our house to make her more comfortable. As in, her room is HER ROOM, not a a guest bedroom.
I don't mean any of this negatively. I want to assure you all my tone is quizzical if anything. A new mantra of mine... 'They are just kids...'
Otherwise, they are sweet and loving. We had a belated birthday for Mike. We got 36 magic candles bearly lit. I think it was a fire hazard. But I took a picture anyways before we extinguished them. We, as in, Mike, I, and a bowl of water.... some of them were still burning...
I think that my solution or my reaction to all of this is something I am dread to do. Scrapbook. Sure I like taking pictures and I feel that they are so important in a family. But I don't really care for all the new bells and whistles of scrapbooking.
(insert snobbish comment)
I think scrapbooking is usually a cover-up for crap photography. :P
Really, all the dilly dally borders just detract from actually looking and seeing anything wow about a picture. But maybe just a simple plain backround with corresponding dates and occasional keepsake trinkets... Just maybe that's ok.
We'll see if I convince myself.
The point?
To tell a story. To start the library of photography for my new family. And, just maybe one day when these kids get old enough to understand beyond their current comprehension of this time. Maybe they'll see the love and the effort, and maybe they'll have an idea of how to apply it in their own lives.
Bugger. I think I just want the bond so badly that I'm trying to push it.
One great thing... the kids love LOTR... how lucky am I?
Nothing terribly new to post about. Just thought I'd check in. Say ehlo.