I have insomnia. Almost every night I seem to be awake and tossing and turning after only sleeping four hours. I stay in bed and have half sleep until just about an hour before the alarm goes off. Just as I am getting back to sleep... the alarm goes off.
So, after Michael and I did our 14 hour monday, and were headed back downtown after getting more supplies, we see that the reason for our dive in business is that yet another coffee shop was just opened just across from our block. The flow of traffic goes by it first, and they do have better presentation than we do. Alas.
We had been entertaining the notion this past week of shutting down shop and me going back to work.
After today, it's definite. Michael was fired for missing one appointment that was set over six months ago for a minor event that he was going to photograph. They had someone else photograph the event. But apparently the person who is bonking the chief of staff at his department got their panties in a twist and now Michael is out of a job. It's truly truly shit because he's never even been given a reprimand, a talking to, any previous disciplinary action.
Even better. Photography is not his job. He's been volunteering to do it with *his* camera. They bitch that they don't like the quality of pictures... he says he's not a photographer and he's only using his home camera. They need to provide him with better.
It's super unjust. So fucking ironic that he works at the attorney general's office and he gets fired for unethical reasons. Even better, his boss sold him out. Michael got bumped so that this asshole could take over and he was in Michael's office every damn day asking him how to do his own job.
I'm flipping furious. I want to go downtown and stand on some desks.
I don't mind going back to work. I do mind assholes pushing their weight around and bitches on their backs getting the work done downtown. he's the only one that has the knowlege in his department. I look forward to hearing about it going down in flames.... since he's not there anymore... he can't do everyone's job.
I put a call back into my old job. Hopefully they'll take me back.
It's been a shit couple of days.
It's been a shit last few months.
I'll be putting my stuff on craigslist.. except the espresso machine. that bitch is going on my counter.
gah. tomorrow is another day.
I told Michael that I was done caring about the coffee shop. We are exhausted. It either flies or it doesn't. Life is too short to be stressing like this over this business.
People don't make their purchasing decisions based on common sense. So even though we have a local roaster, freshly ground, consistently brewed, excellent coffee blend and we actually pour your coffee for you, instead of serving yourself... and locally owned an operated, and convenient for the very wonderful price of 99 cents for a 12 oz small and 1.49 for a 20 oz large... people don't want it.
People are bold too. I have my homemade cookies out front, wrapped in cellophane and they will just start pressing on them to determine which is the softest. Some people are asking me 'how long ago were these baked'... like there was ever a question of freshness. Or, "Is your coffee fresh?"
I've started saying "No" sarcastically in attempt to get them to laugh or be disgusted but the truth of it is that even at Wendy's I rarely encountered this sort of thing. It's common here, and they are becoming ruder. It's like the low prices brings out the assholes and tightwads. This isn't a yard sale, it's a business. Better respect or move the fuck on.
So it comes as no suprise if I say that if our sales don't pick up, then I am happily returning to work after I finish my book. Hopefully my book will get picked up and I won't have to work other than for just the simple and sheer joy of creating art and writing.
I guess some part of the sweet girl who would do anything for anyone is just not there anymore. I am finding that I don't have the energy that I used to (especially with my neck injury) invest in everyone else's lives. Sure, I still have compassion, sure I still have a strong sense of empathy. But I can not afford anymore to let my compassion and empathy put me in compromised positions. I sensed going into business (and the nursing field) would kill some part of me as I kept turning around and seeing how everyone was just after my money or what I could give them without commitment from them.
I determine how I let people treat me. The doormat is gone. Behold the bitch.
So, Michael and I needed a little away time and we both like to swim. I suggested that we go to a local motel with a swimming pool and a hot tub. There we alternate carelessly through the hot tub, the swimming pool, napping and eating. Since we are staying two nights, We could swim on Friday night, swim all day saturday, and swim Sunday morning before checking out. "Is that prudent?" We asked ourselves. "Yes, We can afford a couple of nights at a hotel. We never had a honeymoon, and we've been putting everything into the store for 6 months non stop. It is time for a well deserved break."
I began to look on line through the TRAVELOCITY website. We found one that we could afford that had the hot tub and pool. Excitedly, we made our reservations. We made sure to ask "Is there an indoor swimming pool?" Originally we asked for just one nights stay, but called back and asked for another night too so that we could swim as stated above.
We drive forty minutes to Marysville, Ohio to our hotel. Only our hotel doesn't appear to exist. "Maybe this one is it" We say, pointing to the hotel that has every single door open, Three or Four construction type vehicles, hoses coming out of everywhere. "This can't be it."
Michael goes in. I wait in the truck. He comes back out and says, " I have good news and I have bad news. This *is* the hotel but they say our reservations were cancelled. It smells like cigarette smoke, is filthy, and the pool is under rennovations (not yet constructed).
We aren't happy, but hopefully Travelocity will be of some help. We called, while sitting in the parking lot of our destination and gave them our information.
We get someone in India with a name like "Shane" and he has an accent so thick we can barely understand him. Not to mention that he constantly interrupts us and puts us on hold . I told him that we need them to find us another hotel in Marysville that has a pool... Switch our reservations.
He says that they can't do that. He can give us a *refund* Which will take up to 14 days, and book *another* reservation with us.
I told him that was not acceptable. We were already at our destination, they had made two errors so far ( cancelled plans, and no pool ) So they really needed to do as their slogan says, "Guarantee your price and your experience."
He began searching for hotels for us to stay at, but he kept saying "Parkersburg." I kept telling him. "Marysville."
"Our system says that is Parkersburg."
"I am quite certain we are not in Parkersburg." We had just driven there and there were no signs saying that Parkersburg was anywhere near. (Having just now performed a search on directions from Marysville, Ohio to Parkersburg, WEST VIRGINIA, We find that it is 2 hours and 48 minutes away.)
I ask to speak with a supervisor. He continues to try and help me, and it is just a repetition of the above.
" We aren't in Parkersburg, Look at your own website, Look out our reservations, it clearly states that our location and that the address of the non existent hotel is MARYSVILLE"
I ask for a supervisor again and again, until finally he agrees and I get put on hold for FORTY MINUTES.
During that forty minute wait, I called them using my cell phone and tell them that I need to speak with a supervisor immediately, that I've been on hold for a very long time. After holding for another twenty minutes, The first line finally gets a supervisor and I start to tell him about the horror that is happening. I told him that we are on our way back to Columbus, because we got tired of waiting and that the last thing we wanted was to stay in our vehicle at night in a parking lot forty minutes away from home.
He began to try and find us hotels in the area. All of them were booked, or didn't have a swimming pool. We got smart this time. If he suggested a place, we called it first. Usually, it didn't have a pool (our whole reason for doing this) Or it didn't have an INDOOR POOL. I told him that I found it very disappointing that they weren't of more service. That if we wanted to pay a separate company to just make reservations any old place, that we could do that ourselves. We just want a room in a place that has an indoor pool for the weekend at no additional charge to us.
Finally, I suggest a hotel nearby that I KNOW has a pool because it has an indoor waterpark. He books us a suite there. He says it's a king size suite with a king bed and a pair of bunk beds. We don't have kids. No one is staying with us. We don't need bunk beds, but we decided to let it go. A bed is a bed, is a bed. A reservation.. is a reservation... is a reservation. Waterpark is definitely an upgrade, we warily are excited about our weekend again.
We call the hotel just to make sure. Yes, they have our arrangements. We are relieved and excited. Maybe we can get to enjoying our weekend again. We check in, we take our bags to our room and decide that we are going to go look at the waterpark. We find out that the waterpark is additional... 25.00 per person per day. We talk to the front desk, they give us a two for one deal for the next day. We agree that at least one whole day at the waterpark should be ok and at this point we have to compromise.
We wake up Saturday morning and check our on line banking account and the hotel has charged us an additional 300+ dollar IN ADDITION to our rate that we already paid travelocity. We call Travelocity and ask them to take care of this and suprisingly, the first person can help me and calls the hotel and says that we are all taken care of. That Travelocity will pick up the charges. That the additional charges should be dropped off within the hour. We decide not to take travelocity's word for it. We go downstairs to the lobby and ask. The front desk assured us that we would be taken care of by Travelocity.
We are somewhat relieved. But, now we are wary for the rest of the day. So much for carefree weekend relaxing and enjoying ourselves. We try to make the most of it.
The next morning. I wake up to two invoices under my hotel door. We are getting charged *still* IN ADDITION to our original reserved price.
If you want to do half the work for Travelocity and fight for your 'deal' while you are on vacation then maybe that's ok. But I am posting this so that my friends, and hopefully whoever they talk to, can be prevented such a problem.
I've felt pretty good the last couple of days. I've been practicing my positive stuff and it's been working pretty good. But I tell you. It's really hard. It's really hard to change your focus when you are down here by yourself downtown. There are very few people who come to see me other than Michael. I am grateful for those.
But it's really hard to change your focus when you think that you've given your brother a car, and he still won't drive it to come see you... ten minutes away. It's really hard to accept that I've been here for six months and only two friends have come to see me... no family. I invited a friend here today, and they said they would come and stay the whole day. I even offer them their food free for the day since they'd have to pay for parking. No show. No call. Nothing.
Then I overhear the landlord of the building talking to a new perspective tenant for the area that Michael and I wanted for an actual cafe where we could have tables and chairs. I wonder if they are a food vendor. At this point I feel like, you can only wear rosy shades for so long. If they are a food vendor.. I may be screwed.
Hopefully, I can shift my focus back to reworking the fall menu. I'm just done chasing people with my friendship and my love. I know it's supposed to be easier than this and I just don't accept it anymore.
My morning started with a two-hour dental appointment. I had to have my 'uppers' numbed, deep cleaned, and a few fillings. I am not usually one to flinch at pain, dentists, or appointments, but this one was really traumatic. The dentist had his wicked looking tools (seriously, don't they use those for torture too?) in my mouth for two hours, scraping, prying, drilling, filling, and poking the shit out of my gums.
The sound of scraping inside of my mouth was unnerving. I didn't numb up well the first six jabs with the needle and by the time I walked out of there, my nose and upper lip were completely numb.
He offered the mirror to me afterwards, and as anxious as I was to see it, I didn't have the where-with-all to manually lift my upper lip and take a peek-a-boo at my angry gums and newly filled teeth.
Now, they really do look great. But really,can someone tell me what sicko created a sanding tool that works like dental floss?
I am not looking forward to getting my "lowers" done.
Today, I cackled like an evil hen. Upon reading the update for the weather forcast and seeing that we were supposed to drop below 40 degrees. Usually this would be met with much lamentation. But I now have a coffee shop. Cold weather equals higher sales.
I am reminded of Glasgow fiercely this week.
Today is the first day that I actually feel like I did before the pinched nerves flared up. I was absolutely so scared when it happened. I saw everything that I hadn't done, and how little it looked like I would be able to do. My head started spinning especially as I put on weight. How could you not? I am so hopeful and thankful right now. I actually had energy tonight that I haven't had in a long time.
The future is crazy right now. Life moves so fast right now. Michael wants to teach at the college level. Actually give accredited classes instead of the pass/fail continuing education classes and work shops at the local college. So he starts putting out the info and putting out his interest to certain colleges and one of them has offered to pay him to teach and waive his tuition.
Things are really looking upward.
Since I'm so game for dishing out advice, I decided to take my advice. I got away from my store. I went out of town with Michael for 3 days and 2 nights to WVA to visit his parents and go to some job interviews that he decided to schedule because we've talked about having a farm.
Anyone who knows me will know that it is no long shot that I would like children. Michael and I feel the same way. We also like the idea of them growing up in the country. We have some other fledgling ideas to go with it, like horse and hawk rescue. Probably home schooling, probably baking, probably sewing, probably sculpting, and writing.
All of this has led us to the place that he is going to get his masters degree so that he can teach on the college level. There is a college that actually would have hired him on the spot if he would have had it already. Oh well. I hear that it can be done in less than 2 years and so it looks like life is changing at the speed of, well, life.
I would say that it makes all the difference in the world when you have a partner who is as committed as you are and as pragmatic, creative and willing to help create more than just their own happiness. I think that my two major previous relationships just were people who wanted me to sculpt myself into their ideal because I matched some of what they were looking for. Oh well, square peg round hole blah blah blah.
I am excited, but at the same moment, very nervous. I am at a point where the first time in my life, I truly don't have a vision of 'who I want to be.' I am sure many of you have seen the various phases, but the only thing that stands is Artist, Wife and Mother. I am going to try and not over think it. Just let my enjoyment of life be just that. Enjoy life.
Now, I'm going to go cherish bathing my cats ... mwahahahah