Really strange week. Lady was hospitalized for a MRSA staph infection. I've been planning a spiritual retreat for women with a most excellent theme. Very excited about that taking place on June 21. We've 8 women and I'm sure it'll be fantastic.
We are looking at apartments.
The girls are *mostly* fun. I swear nothing like having teenage girls that makes you feel like the most uncool thing and the biggest bitch. At first I was all like, "But I want them to like me..."
Fuck that, I want them to do what they are supposed to be doing while they are here and I'll be a big bitch if being nice doesn't get the message across. I'm not here to be popular. I'm here to parent. Sure it hurts my feelings that they talk to Michael more than me. He's the fun parent. That's ok.
I've burned myself twice this week. I've not really wanted to be in the kitchen much. I think I'm supposed to bake cookies tonight.
Dusty came over yesterday and hung out with me for a while. That was cool.
I started building my website for my art. It's going to be a place that you can get photography, sewn things, crocheted things, painted things, and written things by moi. I went through Yahoo web site builder and while their templates are limited, their website builder is super easy to use.
Drop me an email, I'll send you a link.
I'll be getting business cards and a networking pamphlet. I'm going to take a couple of photography classes and a photoshop class.
I'm also refining my sewing skills so that I can bring to life some of these design ideas I have in my head.
Lots going on.
I thought I was domestic. Now I KNOW it.
I have been cleaning this house forever. A house can't possibly be that dirty but it is. I am making up for the months that I was unable to do the little OCD housecleaning things that we women know about. Michael bought me a brand new vacuum cleaner. It's awesome. I have dubbed it W.K. Angmar and the super duper crevice cleaning tool is a morgul blade. Fear us dust bunnies. Fear us.
So, I've also been dreaming some absolutely awesome and crazy dreams over the last week.
Last night I dreamed that Prism was pregnant and she blogged about keeping it secret for a few months. Ha!
The night before I dreamed that I was a CIA or Intelligence Agency of some sort operative during WWII and I was in Paris while tanks were running around destroying things and I and my partner, who happened to be Alan Rickman (Rock on!) were running through this old museum turned into a hotel.
The other night I dreamed of black as ink tornadoes coming across big sky country and funneling gloriously along the horizon right towards me. Next morning, there had been tornadoes while I slept.
I started writing down my dreams in a dream journal. Its amazing how much of your dreams you remember if you write them down. I think that recalling them and writing them jogs that part of the brain that they exist in.
The girls have made excellent grades. S got straight A's and M got all A's and one B+.
I have been feeling better and better, although I went to the chiro yesterday with lower back issues and he put me on lumbar traction and it was awesome.
I wish I could get on that machine every day. I'd switch and do my neck one day and my back another day.
Michael is treating me to a shiatsu massage today. I have been really pushing my boundaries with trying to heal up. If people can break their necks and backs and walk again, I believe that I can function like a normal human being with 2 pinched nerves.
That's all I got for now. I better get cleaned up. I'll have mercy on my masseuse.
Sounds like an oxymoron, but basically so many things in my life came to a head in the last four years that it became aware to me that if I obsess over them, (or try to control situations because I am afraid of having to suffer the outcomes) that I am just as miserable as I would be if those worst case scenarios happened; So why not let go?
Now, I let go daily. Every time a trigger is hit I say, "I am letting go." I say, "If my superior brains are needed then they will be asked for." You can offer once, but to offer continuously as a way to force an outcome is just not working. So on we go, letting go.
That's a lot of mumbo jumbo, but it's working. I can't afford the energy right now to give to worrying and excess anxiety, so while I can't see an outcome, and I don't know how things might resolve themselves, I just let them go and do what it is that I have said that I will do. What I do is the only thing that I have control of.
Enough of that.
So, that being said, My iTunes has decided to delete or conveniently lose a rare U2 live song for me. It is my favoritest song ever and I have searched high and low trying to find it again, and it is nowhere to be found. I can't back it up because it was on my iPod that was stolen back in September. So, I just keep hoping that it'll creep back up.
U2 Running to Stand Still Live from the 1993 concert that they transmitted over the radio. The guitar is rich, the band is in beautiful form, and Bono breaks into Hallelujahs at the very end.
No wonder with all this finding of serenity and zen that my favoritest song ever is titled "Running to Stand Still?"
P.S.
I tried to watch Sweeney Todd, but as much as I love to watch Johnny Depp, and as much as I wanted to love the macabre musical, it dragged the fuck on.
P.S.S.
Johnny Depp has absolutely beautiful hands.