Regan

I would like to say thank you to those people who wished me happy birthday. It was a great day and I ate loads of food and drank lots of wine. Luminati I hope you had a good one, I’m sorry I didn’t realise till now that we share a birthday or I’d have sent birthday wishes too!

Things have done that peaks and troughs thing that happens in life and has gone downhill slightly from there. I don’t feel this is just because I’m a little bit older but because some people are arseholes hell-bent on ruining your happiness. Lalala not angry at all see?

Well actually I’m not really. I’m going on holiday tomorrow to Berlin for the weekend with Sea-Moose, it was our 6 month anniversary on Monday (holy crap!) so we’re going to go and have fun and put all the bullshit of the past week behind us.

I hope everyone else is fine and I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.

…and I’ll eat everything if I want to! I got a chocolate fountain which is as exciting as it sounds and I’m making sushi for dinner tonight and there’s going to be cake and people and anyone would think that I was turning twelve instead of the mature, supposedly grown-up person I am. Hehehehe. I hope everyone has a lovely day.
xx

I think everyone needs to be a little happier. There is too much introspection and stress. Forget about it and go dance in your pants or something. Therapy through music and literature, it really works. Ooh and ice-cream and pizza. I’m going to turn into a pizza. Or a cheese of some kind. Then I’ll eat myself and you guys won’t get any more 6 month breaks then a rambling post like this. Whoopsadaisy. Rock on.

2 of each (as thieved from Prism)

2 names you go by: Bun, Willow
2 parts of your heritage: Scottish, English
2 things that scare you: Speaking in public, injections
2 things you are wearing right now: Ripped jeans, peachy-pink bra
2 of your favourite bands or musical artists (at the moment): The Shins, Placebo
2 favourite songs (at the moment): Helpless - k.d lang, Summer’s Gone - Aberfeldy
2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love): Being able to talk about anything, trust
2 truths: He loves me, I love him back
2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex): Eyes and smile
2 of your favorite hobbies: Writing, reading
2 things you want really badly: A holiday, a good night’s sleep
2 places you want to go on vacation: India, Japan (let’s go together)
2 things you want to do before you die: Jump out a plane (with a parachute!), read War and Peace
2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick: Inability to make any kind of decision ever, I love dresses
2 things you are thinking about now: Mmm, full. I really should write some more of my essay.
2 stores you shop at: Somerfield, Avalanche

And just to round off the unoriginal stolen from other people entry, here’s a poem I found that I like:

Blows the wind to-day, and the sun and the rain are flying -
Blows the wind on the moors to-day and now,
Where about the graves of the martyrs the whaups are crying,
My heart remembers how!

Gray, recumbent tombs of the dead in desert places.
Standing Stones on the vacant, wine-red moor,
Hills of sheep, and the howes of the silent vanished races,
And winds, austere and pure!

Be it granted me to behold you again in dying,
Hills of home! and to hear again the call -
Hear about the graves of the martyrs the pee-wees crying,
And hear no more at all.

Robert Louis Stevenson

So I went a little awol from blog duty… It’s happened before, it’ll happen again. I’ve been quite busy really. Started my job, it’s going well and I now get discount on glasses. Woo. Spent too much time in QM again. What’s new? And not enough time on essays etc. Ditto…
Apart from this I’ve just been me really. Fannied about writing the odd story, been ill and nursed the ill, drank brandy and milk then an orange reef and wondered why I felt sick, bought a suit on my expense account and swanked about in it. All in a month’s work for little me really.

Things I’m looking forward to in the next month or so in no particular order:

1 - Thanksgiving dinner!
2 - Chronicles of Narnia coming out
3 - Bopalula coming home
4 - Snow (it’s coming I swear)
5 - SeaMoose meeting the parents. Hehehehe. I’m such a sadistic girlie
6 - Eating my body weight in food over the holiday season
7 - Getting my first paycheck
8 - Finishing my essays

But for now I have to go and kick some drunk people out of my building. Love to all. Rx

I’m not sorry. I’ve got what I want. What it has cost me a lot to get. Whether others can be happy for me, I don’t know. I’m not going to apologise. I’m only sorry if you’ve been upset. I know it’s only because you care, but let me make my own mistakes. Be that over and over again… You can stand back and say I told you so if it goes wrong (again) but it’s up to me to be allowed to make those mistakes. Do not judge me if you love me. You haven’t before so please don’t make it something you do now. You are so important to me, and I love you all, you know that.

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

Clichéd I know, but how true. Think about it.

We can work it out. We can find someplace new. We can’t rewind.

You know what I mean. I can’t lose you over this. But we can’t go back.

Yes I know there’s a problem (with the blog) but I don’t know what it means or how to fix it. I like the pretty picture and that’s all that matters.

Why is it if I have had such a good day; went to Ikea and bought pretty things, chatted with my friends, and generally had fun, that just now I feel so sad? I feel a bit vacant but at the same time so rushed and busy doing stuff, even fun stuff for me, that I don’t have time to be myself. I feel a little bit like a fake smile: all style and no substance. I feel like Clarissa Dalloway but I don’t know when my party’s going to be.
I feel, I feel, I feel… errrrrr. Like a stuck record. Shut up. You don’t know how lucky you are.

This is in reference not to people who are missing as in disappeared, but as in people I miss. It occurred to me that I am missing a few people lately. They are either abroad or I’ve lost their address or I never knew it in the first place or they’re dead or on the other side of the city and it’s been a busy week or just in the next room and I’m crazy…
I hate missing people. I hate the missing them more than I hate the actual fact of their absence. That’s just stupid. At least it sounds stupid. But I do miss them. So to all the people I miss, here’s to you. I’m thinking of you all and I hope wherever you are, you’re safe.